Ten Random Characters
by Twilight Joltik
Summary: Peach finds a certain online meme and turns it into a crazy game for her friends to play. Ten of the smashers have to watch as they're thrust into crazy and often embarrassing hypothetical situations. Also, clones, Fire Emblem jokes, fourth-wall breaking, Doctor Who references and Fanfiction writing Peach and Robin. And a very-much-lot of the shipping.
1. Ike Hates Shipping

_**AN- So, I was doing the Write Down Ten Random Characters prompt with some smashers, (I'm sure you've heard of it, half of the website has it on their profile page) and this occurred to me. So, behold my new masterpiece. The prompts come from Zelda12343 on Deviantart, and the characters belong to Nintendo. So, thanks and enjoy! –Twilight Joltik**_

* * *

_Ten Random Characters _

_Chapter 1_

Peach stood in the common room of the Smash Mansion, waiting for her guests to arrive. Earlier that day, she had slipped nine of her friends invitations to this party she'd thought up, and she hoped they would all come. Luckily, as the clock neared the time she'd designated, they started to trickle in. First Pit and Palutena, and soon afterwards Robin. Toon Link, Lucas, and Red seated themselves as Marth and Ike walked in, chatting happily about something or other. Peach looked about for the final smasher she invited, and soon noticed that Roy had slipped in without fanfare.

"Great, everyone's here!" Peach exclaimed. "Now we can start!"

Pit raised his hand. "Yes?"

"What are we doing here?" Pit asked.

"I found this really fun sounding game on the internet!" Peach explained as she grabbed the paper bag she'd put the numbers in. "You take ten random people and assign them a number, and then put the person with the number in place of the number on a sentence, and create random situations that they'd be in, and then you say what they'd do."

"Oh, I've heard of that!" Robin exclaimed.

"Yeah, but don't people usually just take ten random characters from a video game or something for that?" Palutena pointed out.

Everyone was silent for a moment, until Peach huffed "Your point is?"

Peach passed the paper bag containing the numbers around, and each smasher drew a number. Palutena drew one, Roy drew two, Pit drew three, and Marth four. Peach drew five for herself, six went to Robin, seven to Ike, and eight to Red, leaving nine and ten to Toon Link and Lucas, respectively. The princess of the Mushroom Kingdom scribbled a list of the numbers down on a notepad.

"Okay, let's start!" Peach exclaimed happily. She straightened the list of the prompts she'd printed out and read the first one.

"Okay, so Seven- that's you, Ike- kidnaps Two, er, Roy, and demands something from Five, that's me, for Roy's release. What is it?"

Ike snickered. "In exchange for Roy's life, I demand you and Robin stop writing shipping Fanfiction about Link and me," he stated with a smirk.

"Shipping Fanfiction?" Toon Link repeated. "What do you mean?"

"Be grateful you haven't heard of it," Marth exclaimed.

"Yeah," Roy groaned. "Those things bring creepy to a whole new level!"

"What kinds of stuff do they say?" Toon asked.

Ike sighed. "Nothing too bad, but it's really awkward to read some story where you're flirting with someone you know. Not to mention the fact that every single one, without fail, ends with a 'first kiss'. Seriously, Link and I must have had our 'first kiss' what, twelve times now?"

"Thirteen, actually," Robin corrected.

"Yeah, so like I was saying," Ike continued. "Never look up xXPeachBlossomsXx or MageTactician."

"Are those their usernames?" Toon Link questioned.

"Yeah. Just… stay away," Marth insisted. "Please, in the name of sanity, just stay away!"

Peach sighed heavily. "Alright, I'll stop writing LinkxIke. After all," A devious smirk graced Peach's lips. "RoyxIke would be a lot cuter."

The horrified expression on Ike and Roy's faces made several smashers snicker.

* * *

_**AN- I'm looking forwards to seeing where this goes. And for your convenience, here's a simpler list of the characters:**_

_1. Palutena_

_2. Roy_

_3. Pit_

_4. Marth_

_5. Peach_

_6. Robin (F)_

_7. Ike_

_8. Red_

_9. Toon Link_

_10. Lucas_

_**So, thanks for reading! –Twilight Joltik**_


	2. Robin is a Sue

_Ten Random Characters_

_Chapter 2_

"Alright!" Palutena exclaimed, trying desperately to change the subject. "Next one!"

"Okay," Peach read. "Marth invites Pit and Red to dinner at his house. What happens?"

"Probably not much," Red stated coolly. "I mean, we all get along fairly well, and none of us are particularly-"

"Ooh! Can we have floor ice cream for dessert?" Pit interrupted.

"I don't think that's a good idea," Marth commented.

Palutena groaned. "Don't ask."

"Moving on!" Peach cried. "Seven, er, Ike, you need to pick a friend to stay with for the night. Robin or Palutena?"

"But they're both girls," he protested.

"I have a brother!" Robin added. "Who's also named Robin."

"Any particular reason for that?"

Robin laughed awkwardly. "I have weird parents. I mean, one of them was a cultist, and the other's dead, so…"

"Fine then," Ike remarked. "Robin and her weird brother, because Palutena would probably make something explode."

"Yeah, I probably would," Palutena admitted.

"Next!" Peach called. She then snickered rather obnoxiously. "Roy and Ike are making out wh-"

Roy turned a bright shade of red. "What? It says that?"

Robin glanced at the papers Peach was holding, grinning. "Yep!"

"When Lucas walks in," Peach continued. "Your reaction?"

"I'd ask them how much you and Robin paid them," Lucas stated.

"I'd ask them what sort of love potion Peach slipped them," Red retorted.

Roy and Ike both had their faces buried in their hands, and Marth looked a bit perturbed.

"Pit falls in love with Robin. Red is jealous-"

"Can we stop doing romance ones?" Pit asked loudly.

"Stop interrupting me!" Peach screeched. "So, what does Red do?"

"Easy," Red responded sharply. "I would tell Charizard to snatch Robin and bring her to me so I could question her about the misuse of her Mary Sue powers on my friend. "

"What?" Robin hissed. "I am not a Mary Sue!"

"Yeah, you kind of are," Roy replied.

"What? How so?"

"Well, you're a self-insert," Marth explained.

"You can marry anyone in the army," Roy added.

"And you're friends with everyone in the game," Ike stated. "Need any more evidence?"

"Hypocrites!" Robin roared. "Remember Kris? Or Mark? They were self inserts that were friends with all of your forces!"

"Actually," Roy corrected. "Mark was in my father's army, not mine."

"And Kris- okay, actually, I see your point," Marth admitted.

Robin smirked as she shifted her glare to Ike. "As for you, remember Micaiah?"

"No," Ike grunted. "I try very hard not to, thank you."

"Who's Micaiah?" Pit asked.

"You don't want to know," Ike explained hastily.

"No, really, who's-"

"We do not speak of her!"

* * *

_**AN- Alright, that last part probably went over the heads of people that aren't Fire Emblem fans, so let me explain. Mark is a tactician in Fire Emblem (Rekka no Ken) for the GBA that is sort of a self insert character, but non playable. Kris is a customizable self-insert character in the Japan-only sequel to Shadow Dragon, Marth's remake game. Micaiah is the main character of Radiant Dawn, who many believe to be a Mary Sue. I don't personally have any issues with her at the moment, I just singled her out for a punchline, simply because many think she's a Mary Sue, so if you are a fan of her, please forgive me. Also, for the questions that mention 'you', I chose a random character to replace 'you'. So, thanks for reading! –Twilight Joltik**_


	3. Marth is Confused

_Ten Random Characters_

_Chapter 3_

"Next!" Peach cried. "Okay, Palutena, Marth tries to jump you in a dark alleyway. Who would come to your rescue, Roy, Ike, or Toon?"

Palutena laughed. "Why would Marth kill me? We're friends!"

Marth looked at her with a devious smirk on his lips. "Well, perhaps if you were assisting Peach and Robin with their writing-"

Everyone looked at him oddly. "But we haven't written anything about you yet," Robin commented, eyebrows raised.

After an awkward moment in which Marth attempted to hide the crimson flush of his cheeks, Palutena suddenly cackled loudly. "Oh, so you're jealous that Roy's getting all of Ike's attention in them, are you?"

The two blue-haired swordsmen in the room blushed as they began to profusely deny her statement. "No! Why would I- just, why?" Marth choked out with a bit of difficulty.

"Why am I the first guy that it always occurs to you guys to ship with other guys?" Ike questioned, glaring at Palutena. "I mean, does anyone actually think Marth and I would make a good couple?"

"Dude, everyone ships you with Marth," Red stated dryly.

"Really?" Marth asked, the embarrassment replaced with doubt.

"Yeah, everyone," Lucas added as he clacked away on his phone, seemingly texting someone. "Even Samus, and she hates pretty much everyone."

"Then why do Peach and Robin not?" Marth countered.

"We do, we just wanted to do something original," Robin clarified.

"That's not the first word I would use to describe those," Roy muttered under his breath.

Robin smirked darkly. "We still prefer RoyxIke, though," she chuckled at Roy.

"Even Lucina ships you guys," Peach quipped. "Even though if you two got together she would cease to exist."

"What?" Marth asked, as if the comment hadn't made any sense to him.

"Nah, I guess it wouldn't erase her, would it?" Lucas replied. "I mean, if either of you were the real deal, it might, but-"

"Wait, what do you mean 'the real deal'?" Marth questioned, his voice raising an octave in pitch. "A-are you suggesting-? Do you mean-? What?"

"Back to the question!" Peach roared. Everyone jumped, startled by her outburst.

"Okay, so who was it, Roy, Ike, or Toon?" Palutena resumed. "Well, Roy probably wouldn't side with me over Marth, and Ike would never betray his precious-" She was interrupted by a hiss from the blue-haired mercenary. "So, that leaves me with Toon," Palutena finished. "I don't think he could beat Marth, though."

"You're probably right…" Toon Link muttered, frowning slightly.

"Next!" Peach exclaimed once more. "So, Palutena decides to start a cooking show. So, after fifteen minutes, what happened?"

"Well, funny you should ask!" Pit chirped brightly. "Palutena tried to cook once back in Skyworld, and-"

"The carrots came to life and I declared war on them!" Palutena finished. "So, something similar would probably happen here."

"I'd like to see that," Lucas laughed softly, still texting.

Peach suddenly laughed loudly. "Oh, this next one's great!" she beamed. "Pit, you have to marry Red, Marth, or Toon Link. Who would you pick?"

Pit flushed crimson. "B-but they're all guys…" he protested.

"Doesn't matter. Pick one."

"I guess since I know Red the best out of all of them, him?" Pit answered, accompanied by an awkward chuckle.

Red suddenly threw a pillow at Pit. "Absolutely not!" he snarled. "I refuse to be pulled into your shipping!"

"No objections!" Peach screeched throwing another pillow at Red.

The pillow narrowly missed Red's head, and made a thud on the wall that sounded far too forceful for such a light object to make. "Okay…" Red squealed in high-pitched terror.

Lucas began to laugh, and Red picked up the pillow and prepared to slap Lucas with it. "I was laughing at something Ness texted me," he quickly clarified, recoiling from the look of pure rage Red was giving him.

"Ooh, what'd it say?" Robin asked eagerly, getting up to look over Lucas's shoulder.

"I was telling him about this game, and he said he had a few ideas for it," Lucas reported.

That statement instigated more fear in the smashers than any of Peach's threats had.

* * *

_**AN- So, a guest reviewer going by the name of Meeeee gave a suggestion for a random question prompt, and I realized this was a brilliant idea. So, if you'd like, you can suggest one through PM or review. Preferably PM, but reviews are fine too. So, thanks for reading! –Twilight Joltik**_


	4. Pit Fails at Life

_Ten Random Characters_

_Chapter 4_

"Seven, Eight, and Three are at war with One, Four, and Six," Lucas read.

"So, that's- let's see," Peach glanced at her list. "Ike, Red, and Pit at war with Palutena, Marth, and Robin."

"Marth, why would you fight against your Waifu?" Palutena asked with a giggle.

She was met with a snap of Marth's fingers, and suddenly, Lucina rushed in and slammed the goddess on the head with a pillow. "You shall not insult His Lordship!" she snarled, before bowing her head to Marth. "Did I do well, Lord Marth?"

"Yes, thank you," Marth stated with a smirk. "You are dismissed."

The blue-haired princess quickly exited the room, and Ike laughed. "Y'know, I really wish Priam could be a newcomer; I want a servant!"

"It's actually kind of annoying after a while," Marth huffed. "She won't leave me alone."

"Can I continue?" Lucas asked, annoyance in his voice. Everyone silenced, and the psychic cleared his throat. "What happens when Three falls in love with One, and what happens when the others find out? And then he put some emoticons."

"Palutena and Pit, then? Do they have a ship name?" Robin asked.

"Pirutena?" suggested Marth.

"I like Palit." Red interjected.

"But why us?" Palutena asked. "I mean, I'm friends with Pit, but why would Ness ship us? Why not Pit and Viridi; that's my OTP."

"Yeah, why not- WAIT, WHAT?" Pit exclaimed, red burning his cheeks. "Me and... Viridi? B-b-but..."

"Have you not forgotten that kiss?" Peach asked Palutena with a smirk.

"That was not canon!" the goddess seethed. "It wasn't even in the Japanese version!"

"So, how would we react if they were supposed to be enemies?" Red reiterated. "Well, I would tell Pit to get over it, because he apparently wants to be married to me."

"That's not what I said!" Pit cried. "I only said you'd be a better wife than Marth or Toon!" After an awkward silence, Pit blushed. "Uh, that didn't come out right."

Robin laughed. "I'd tell Palutena to go for it and meet him in secret and all that! Ooh," she added with a devious grin. "That would actually be a really great Fanfiction! Of course, it'd be PeachxPalutena, but-"

"Excuse me?" Peach screeched.

"What, you ship me with Sumia," Robin huffed.

Peach glared at the tactician sideways. "Touche."

A small ding from Lucas's phone heralded his next statement. "Ness says he is 'amused by your answers'," Lucas read. "He also says he set up a camera so everyone else could watch."

"How did he…" Marth questioned to himself.

"Great!" Peach exclaimed, interrupting. "Now everyone else can see how brilliant I am!"

"And how much everyone ships us," Roy added in a deadpan.

"So, next question! Everyone gangs up on Pit, does he stand a chance?" Peach read.

"Of course I do!" the angel proclaimed. "I mean, I can just fly out of there!

"Doesn't Palutena give you the power of flight?" Toon Link countered.

"Yeah, so?"

"She'd be against you as well," Marth pointed out.

Pit's face fell. "Uh, okay then, back-up plan. I know! How about… THIS!" He bowed his head, as if in prayer. "Viridi, please give me the power of flight and save from these psychos!"

Pit's wings began to glow with a green shine and lift him into the air rapidly, bursting a hole in the roof as he ascended. "I- I didn't actually mean that!" he screamed as he flew straight up into the black of the night.

Red snickered dryly. "Well, I guess we have our answer."

"Will he be back anytime soon?" Toon Link asked, staring through the hole in the ceiling.

"Not until Viridi's done yelling at him," Palutena answered with a smirk. "So he might be a while."

* * *

_**AN- Yay, more shipping! Just so you know, most of these couples are completely random, as in not necessarily ones I ship. Well, except IkexMarth, and PeachxPalutena, but the latter is a crackship for me. Also, Palutena's comment about the kiss not being canon comes from the ending of the original Kid Icarus, where in the localized versions, an extra ending where Palutena kissed Pit was added. So, thanks for reading, and special thanks to Meeeee for the first question. -Twilight Joltik**_


	5. The Red-less Wedding

_Ten Random Characters_

_Chapter 5_

Robin glanced over Peach's shoulder at the list, and suddenly burst into raucous laughter. "Okay, you've gotta let me read this one!" she pleaded. Peach nodded with a suspicious grin. "Okay, everyone is invited to Roy and Ike's wedding exc-"

She was cut off by a roar of laughter from Red and Palutena, as well as groans from Marth, Ike, and Roy. "Please tell me it doesn't actually say that," Roy implored.

"No cigar, kid," Robin answered with a smirk. "So, everyone except Red is invited to your wedding. How would Red react?"

"I'd just be happy I wouldn't have to be there to see Marth commit Peachicide," Red replied with a chuckle. "I mean, if his best friend ran off with his Waifu…"

"I am not Marth's Waifu!" Ike interrupted in indignation. "Whatever that is."

Palutena eagerly jumped to answer his question. "'Waifu' is basically Otaku-nese for love interest. For instance, who did your Avatar marry in Fire Emblem Awakening?"

"Chrom," Ike answered. The many odd looks and giggles from around the room made him sigh. "You all took that the wrong way, didn't you?"

"Chrom's your Waifu?" Robin roared in laughter. "I have so many questions, I can't even-"

"Look, it was totally an accident," Ike hastily explained. "I didn't know it auto-married Chrom, and I had a B-support with him. I was going to marry Gaius, but it didn't work out."

Robin, still snickering, asked "Why Gaius? Chrom or Lucina seem more like your type."

Ike rolled his eyes. "Very funny. Actually, interesting story behind that, I figured since the Avatar was basically a Mary Sue-"

"Hey!" protested Robin.

"-then it would be funny to make it Micaiah," Ike continued, ignoring Robin.

"I thought we weren't to speak of her?" Lucas remarked with a glance at his phone.

Ike shrugged. "I was joking. I don't completely hate her, she's just irritating and hates me for some reason. And I wanted her to marry Gaius 'cause he kind of reminded me of her friend Sothe."

"So, then Chrom is Micaiah's Waifu, right?" Red asked.

"Not finished," Ike continued. "So, Micaiah thought that was hilarious and made her Avatar me and married him to Tharja because she 'reminded her of Soren'. I really don't get it, but…"

"Yes, she's like Soren," Marth corrected. "Your crazy best friend wanted to have a duel to the death with me for your heart, remember?"

Naturally, Palutena squealed "Yes! I was right! You two are together!"

Marth turned beet red, and the author realized she was probably close to running out of creative ways to say people were blushing. "No, we are not. Soren had just taken a hex to the face, and his brain was a bit scattered," Ike clarified. "Besides, he never said it had anything to do with love."

"And please be careful around the fourth wall," Roy added. "We're not sure how stable it is, and if it breaks again…"

A collective shutter ran through the room, save for Robin and Palutena, who were afraid to ask what they were talking about.

"So," Peach chirped in a strained voice. "Moving on! Why is Six afraid of Seven? Er, I mean Robin afraid of Ike?"

"Because I dumped Priam?" Robin suggested.

Ike shrugged. "My descendant and potential servant's exes are not my business."

"And what anime would be Red's favorite," Peach read.

"Ooh! Ooh! I know this one!" Called a voice from high above. Pit dropped back into the room unceremoniously and dusted himself off, sitting back down.

"Oh, good to see Viridi didn't murder you," Palutena greeted.

No sooner had she said that then the plant goddess materialized in the room. "I thought he'd suffer more from you miserable humans," she cackled.

"And goddess!" Palutena added brightly.

"And Beorc," Ike stated.

"And Hylian!" Toon continued.

"And part-Manakete," Roy commented.

"I get your point," Viridi barked. "Anyways, this game of yours sounds entertaining. I'd like to watch it."

Lucas pointed towards the hall leading to the Smasher's rooms. "Ness set up a camera in here and a bunch of people are watching it in his room. It's the one with a symbol that looks like a full moon on the door, fourth on the right."

Viridi quickly started down the hall. "So, you were saying?" Peach prompted Pit.

"Right. Red's favorite anime is…"

"Please don't," Red complained. "Can't you just let me say it's something cool?"

Pit promptly burst into a very familiar song at the top of his lungs. "I WANNA BE THE VERY BEST LIKE NO ONE EVER WAS! "

"And now you've ruined both my dignity and our eardrums," Red groaned.

Everyone covered their ears to weather out the dreadful storm that was Pit's singing.

* * *

_**AN- Well, that happened. Also, I know half the jokes in this fic are Fire-Emblem centric, but I hope no one feels too lost. For those who do know what I'm talking about, I may just do a chapter where everyone says who their Avatar married in Awakening at some point. **_

_**So, thanks for reading! –Twilight Joltik**_


	6. Roy Breaks the Fourth Wall

_Ten Random Characters_

_Chapter 6_

After Pit had finally quieted (he had started to sing the second verse, but Marth silenced him by calling Lucina in to smack him with another throw pillow), Peach read the next question with a grin. "Toon arrives late for Roy and Ike's wedding. What happens and why were they late?"

Toon Link sat silent for a moment before snickering. "Well, I managed to get a sample of the love potion you and Robin had been drugging them with, and I gave it to Zelda to analyze and make a cure for. Since she's good with magic and stuff, she probably succeeded, and then I gave Roy and Ike the cure and they snapped out of it and locked you in a closet."

Marth chuckled as he continued Toon's story. "And then Ike kissed me and everyone lived happily ever after or something, right Palutena?" he delivered in a deadpan.

"So you do like him!" Palutena exclaimed gleefully, punching the air in victory.

"It was a joke," Marth sighed. "You do realize I have a girlfriend, don't you?"

Palutena sputtered in speechlessness, and Peach read the next question. "Toon murders Roy's best friend, who has to be someone in this room. What does Roy do to get back at him?"

"Well, it'd probably be Marth, so I'd probably turn into a dragon and freeze him into a solid block of ice, and then stuff him in a freezer for the rest of eternity," Roy stated casually.

"Wait, how can you turn into a dragon?" Pit questioned.

Roy sighed. "I told you, I'm one-fourth Manakete! Really, I just said that in the last chapter, how can you have forgotten already?"

Suddenly, a large, crooked, smile-shaped crack appeared in one of the walls of the room, and a few Smashers cried out in terror. "Mind the fourth wall!" Peach screeched.

"I'm sorry!" Roy squeaked. "Quick, someone do something before something bad happens!"

After a moment of strained silence, Robin suddenly cried out "I know! Shulk can help! Lucas, go get Shulk."

"How can Shulk help?" Pit asked.

"Okay, who in here watches Doctor Who?" the Tactician questioned. Palutena, Lucas, and herself raised their hands. "Then you understand the gravity of this situation. Lucas, where would Shulk be?"

Lucas stood up and began out down the hall, but quickly turned back. "Wait, what does Shulk have to do with Doctor Who?"

"Just tell me where he is. I'll handle it," Robin asserted.

"Ness's room," Lucas answered. Robin marched down the hall to Ness's room and threw open the door.

Robin scanned the room for the wielder of the Monado, and found the fair-haired swordsman sitting next to Lucina and Dark Pit, a bowl of popcorn in his lap. "Shulk. We require your assistance. Surely you've seen what's going on in the Common Room," she stated plainly, her tone acquiring a formality that no one was quite used to seeing from her.

Shulk jumped, knocking the popcorn down. Mewtwo quickly picked up the spilled snack with his psychic powers. "Er, five second rule?" Shulk muttered with an awkward chuckle. "Sorry, Robin, right? What d'you need?"

"You have certain connections that could potentially save our world," Robin continued.

"What?"

"You're friends with Clara Oswald, are you not?"

Shulk gave a wry smile. "Careful, the fourth wall might hear you."

Robin sighed in exasperation. "Have you not seen the space-time crack in the wall? I think it already has!"

"Wait, how are you friends with someone in a fictional show about an alien who travels in a phone box?" Lucina asked.

"Well, she just shares an actress with someone in my game, so using the basic principles of inter-dimensional commerce-"

Another large cracking came from the common room, accompanied by a loud shriek that sounded as if it came from Roy. Shulk laughed nervously. "I'll call her up," he assured Robin. "Just try not to make things worse."

Robin snarled as she went back in the common room. "He is not helping!" she cried as she reentered the room. "So, can we keep our spirits up until someone fixes something?"

"Roy, just out of curiosity, how could turning into a dragon help you freeze Toon. Shouldn't you burninate him instead?" Ike asked, making another small cracking noise come out of the terrifying abomination on the wall.

"I'm part ice dragon," Roy sighed. "I need to tell more people that so they won't automatically assume I'm a Pyro whenever I tell them I'm part dragon."

* * *

_**AN- Doctor Who jokes. I've been wanting to use this one ever since I found out Clara's actress was the voice of someone in Xenoblade. I haven't actually played Xenoblade Chronicals, so I hope Shulk is in-character. And just in case you were wondering, Clara's one of the Doctor's companions, and the space-time crack is something from Doctor Who as well. So, thanks for reading! –Twilight Joltik**_


	7. Palutena is Victorious

_Ten Random Characters _

_Chapter 7_

With a strained laugh, Peach began to read off the next question to distract the other Smashers from the terrifying crack in the wall. "So, Robin and Palutena are in mortal peril-"

"As we are right now," Palutena added with a nervous glance at the wall.

Peach gave the goddess a look that very clearly said "You are not helping!" and continued to read. "Would Robin save Palutena or herself?"

Robin shrugged casually. "Eh, I'd probably just pull some super awesome strategy out of nowhere, y'know, as you do. But if not, I'd probably save Palutena."

Palutena gave the tactician a warm smile. "So, next!" Peach cried. "Pit and Red go camping, but they forget food. What do they do?"

"Easy, we'd just fly back to the supermarket on Charizard and pick up some marshmallows and floor ice cream," Red stated.

"Awesome!" Pit exclaimed. "I totally need to go camping with you sometime! You know how it's done!"

Red smirked. "Yes, it'd be a lovely honeymoon, my dear," he joked.

Pit blushed. "You aren't planning to let me live that down, are you?" he asked with a nervous chuckle.

"No, not really," Red replied coolly.

Palutena snickered. "Pit, I approve of your tastes in men. You two have my blessing!" she declared. "Red, I look forward to having you as my servant-in-law."

"If we live that long," Lucas added under his breath, glaring at the crack in the wall.

Robin hissed at the blond psychic.

"Okay, Toon, what would you do if Palutena woke you up in the middle of the night?" Peach read.

"I'd ask her if Marth was after her again?" the diminutive Hylian answered nervously.

Marth nodded. "Yeah, she'd just probably started to get on my nerves with all of her shipping comments."

"What?" Palutena huffed. "It's not my fault if you and Ike are an adorable couple."

"Speaking of which!" Robin exclaimed with a giggle, reading over Peach's shoulder. "Marth announced he's going to marry Toon tomorrow. What would happen?"

"Nope," Marth quickly stated. "He's a bit young for me, and he has Tetra, so…"

"You're probably just joking, trying to get back at Ike for all the emotional peril he put you through, with his mind-controlled love of someone else," Palutena gushed with a crooked grin.

Marth hit himself in the head with a pillow.

"Shouldn't you be calling Lucina for that?" Roy asked with a laugh.

"Shut up," Marth muttered. "Last thing I need is you on my case as well. Everyone's ganging up on me; no wonder Ike's the one I like best right now!"

Everyone was silent for an awkward minute. "Er, Marth?" Ike whispered to the prince pointedly. "I think you just stabbed yourself in the foot, so to speak."

"You do like him!" cheered the green-haired goddess.

"Lucina just texted me," Lucas announced. "Or, well, Dark Pit typed out what she said, considering she has no clue how to use a phone. She asked how she still exists if Marth's in love with Ike."

Marth groaned. "Tell Lucina we're probably all clones or Einherjar or something," he sighed. "And maybe that I didn't mean it like that, but I think we're too far past that."

"Einherjar?" Pit repeated. "What's that?"

"Little cards that have copies of legendary warriors in them from Awakening," Robin explained. "Kind of like Yu-Gi-Oh or Clow Cards."

And with three-fold reference joke that, the glowing rift in the wall split open with a sickening crack, filling the room with white light. Several smashers started saying rather depressing things all at once.

"Game over!" Toon Link exclaimed shrilly.

"We're finished!" Pit cried.

"Out of usable Pokémon!" Red screeched.

"Time to reset!" Roy groaned.

"Ike, I'm so sorry, but I was lying when I said I only liked you as a friend!" Marth blurted out at top speeds.

Suddenly, a mechanical wheezing sound emanated from the edge of the room, and a green light pierced the void with a buzzing that brought the nerdiest of the present Smashers unparalleled hope.

A snapping sound came from the fourth wall, and the white cleared, showing that the room was completely unharmed and unchanged, save for the TARDIS perched where a coffee table once stood and the fact that Marth was clinging onto Ike for dear life. Once he realized the others were staring, he sheepishly backed away, leaving Ike blushing and looking as if he had no idea what had just happened.

A man was now standing in front of the wall that had been cracked, putting the green device he had used back into the pocket of his odd black jacket, which flared out a bit at the sides in red. The man appeared to be a bit on the older side, with grey hair and rather impressive eyebrows. The smashers who did not know his identity quickly guessed it from the copious amounts of squeeing coming from Lucas, Palutena, and Robin.

"Are you the help Shulk requested?" Roy asked nervously.

"Yes," The Doctor stated. "But don't worry about that crack; it wasn't your fault."

Roy breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh, thank goodness. I was- wait, then what caused it if it wasn't me breaking the fourth wall."

"Just the tears and laments of Ridley fans, nothing to worry about," explained The Doctor. "Give me a call if it comes back."

The Doctor stepped back into the TARDIS, which quickly dematerialized, leaving several of the smashers squeeing. "So," Peach asked the blue-haired prince. "What was all that about Ike?"

Marth turned cherry-red, and the author rejoiced at having found a way to say he was blushing that she hadn't used before. "Er, c-can't we just pretend none of that happened?"

Ike reached for the prince's hand. "Stop freaking out, I'm not upset with you."

"You're not who I'm worried about right now," Marth muttered. "Though I'm glad you aren't."

"Actually, I'm glad to hear you feel that way," Ike admitted softly.

"Yes!" Palutena cheered. "Divine Intervention, my Smash Brethren! Totally works!"

"You know, I really want to watch Doctor Who now," Ike admitted. "Maybe you'd join me? I mean, tomorrow, after we've gotten some sleep and Peach's game is over."

Marth nodded with a smile, and Palutena dissolved into victorious squees and cheers. Peach threw a pillow at the goddess, trying to stop her from interrupting such an adorable moment.

The two blue-haired swordsmen stared at each other for a moment, not saying a word, until Lucas suddenly interrupted. "Lucina is wondering 'What in quite-literal-blue-blazes is going on?'," he reported.

"Einherjar!" Marth answered forcefully. "I am a copy of Marth, and thus not the real Marth. Therefore, my personality, actions, and romantic interests may not necessarily reflect his! There, will you shut up now!"

Marth's outburst stunned everyone into silence. "Er, does that mean I'm not the real Pit?" the young angel asked spontaneously. No one was sure how to answer.

* * *

_**AN- Yeah, I had to throw my OTP in there as a not-joke. I'm pretty sure Marth will continue to get irritated whenever Palutena brings it up, though. Also, The Doctor had to be the one to close the crack in time. I used the Twelfth (and most recent) Doctor, by the way, though I was tempted to use Eleven and have him make a comment about how River and Lucina were similar. The green light, if you didn't know, was his Sonic Screwdriver, his primary tool of awesomeness. **__Warning-__** "**__Spoilers" in next paragraph for SSB4!_

_**And please forgive me for the Ridley jab. I'm not trying to insult Ridley fans, I just know the final roster was confirmed today, and he's not on it. Trust me, I think he would have been a cool addition as well. And I am sorry for your loss. (I'm upset about Lucas getting cut, but I'm happy about Dark Pit and the Duck Hunt Dog.)**_

_**So, thanks for reading! –Twilight Joltik**_


	8. Lucas is a Bada- NO CURSING!

_Ten Random Characters_

_Chapter 8_

"Moving on!" Peach quickly cried to change the subject. "So, Roy, Robin cooks you dinner. Would you eat it?"

The red-haired swordsman shrugged. "Dunno; haven't had her cooking. Can't be any worse than Lalum's."

"Who?" Toon asked. "Sorry; haven't played Binding Blade."

"A friend of mine," Roy sighed. "She's a horrible cook, but an excellent dancer."

"So you'd eat my cooking?" Robin reiterated in delight. "Wow, you're braver than most men in our army. Only Stahl will touch my food, or Gaius, if it's sweet."

"I'd bet Ike would eat it too, so long as it contained enough meat," Roy remarked.

"Yeah, probably," Ike continued. "Well, maybe not taking into account it being yours and probably spiked with love potion or something."

"Nah, I've jumped ship. MarthxIke for the win. But really, I'm impressed! Priam won't even eat my bear meat, so I suppose culinary bravery isn't hereditary," mused the tactician. "I'll need to test it out on your Einherjar sometime."

Ike looked at her oddly. "You have an Einherjar of me? How?"

"Long story," Robin quickly dismissed. "Actually, I have Einherjar of a lot of heroes from our world; Marth, Roy, Eirika, Lyn, even Micaiah! But the main point is that I was able to defeat your entire army with one pink dragon."

"I'm not sure whether that's awesome or sad," Peach giggled. "But I'm pretty sure it's awesome. So, next! Red, I'm laying next to you on a beach, sleeping. Wait- what does that even mean?"

"No idea," Red replied in a deadpan. "But I'm pretty sure I'd be trying to prevent the sword-y guys from murdering you." He shot a glance at Marth, Ike, and Roy.

Peach grinned. "Aw, thanks Red!" gushed the princess. "So, next! Pit, what if Ike suddenly confessed to be part of your family?"

The young angel imminently trapped the mercenary in a tight hug. "Awesome! I've always wanted a big brother!" he exclaimed happily.

Ike gave Pit an uneasy glance. "Er, aren't you older than me? By, like, a lot?"

"Don't Bee Orcs or whatever you are have a longer lifespan than humans?" Pit asked.

"Beorc," Ike corrected. "And no, we don't. Actually, I'm not even sure what the difference between us and humans are."

Pit frowned. "Aw, but can't you still be my big brother?" he whined.

After staring into Pit's wavering eyes for a moment, Ike sighed in defeat. "Fine," he conceded. "So long as Mist isn't jealous."

"Yes!" Pit cheered. "This is awesome! We can go do fun things, like go beat up the Underworld army and play Mario Kart and eat floor ice cream and-"

"Okay, would someone please tell me what floor ice cream is!" Marth cried.

"Pit has a habit of eating… questionable things off the ground," Palutena explained with an awkward laugh.

"Hey, floor ice cream gives you health," Pit defended casually.

"So, if Ike's now my servant's brother, does that make Marth my new servant-in-law?" asked Palutena with a smirk.

"'In-law'? We're not even technically dating!" Marth protested.

"Hey, wouldn't that make Dark Pit my brother as well?" Ike asked.

"I guess," Pit shrugged. "But he doesn't even like me calling him my brother, so I doubt he'd let you."

"But if so, I suppose your pseudo-family has a type, doesn't it?" Palutena remarked with a laugh.

No one was sure what she meant, but Palutena sighed. "Gosh, has no one else noticed Pittoo is in love with Lucina?"

"What?" Marth shook his head. "I- I did not approve of this."

"Nor did I!" Robin cried in outrage. "Well, I guess it's not my place, but I'm pretty sure since Chrom's my best friend, that makes me, like, her godmother-in-law or something."

"So," Peach began to read again. "Red gets in the hospital. How?"

"Probably trying to catch Mewtwo," Lucas stated. "Again."

And no sooner had Lucas said that than Mewtwo teleported into the room. "My psychic powers told me the Red one had spoken of enslaving me," it coldly huffed mentally. "And he shall pay."

Red jumped, holding his Ivysaur's Pokè Ball close, ready to throw it out.

"No, wait!" Lucas protested, running in front of his friend and throwing his arms out protectively. "I was just making a joke, that's all! Please don't hurt him!"

Mewtwo stared at the young PK-user for a moment. "So you wish to enslave me?" it hissed mentally. "Very well then, you will pay."

"Lucas, please don't-"

"Red, I owe it to you, considering you helped me defeat Wario and avenge Ness in the Subspace Emissary," Lucas countered. "Besides, I can protect myself now. Let me show you the power of-" He paused, for dramatic effect. "PK LOVE!"

A flurry of Technicolor hexagons shot from Lucas's hands, hitting Mewtwo square in the chest and knocking it back. "Well met, mortal fiend," scowled the Legendary. "I shall retreat." It teleported away, before teleporting back for a moment, adding "For now!" before flickering away again.

A moment of awestruck silence fell over the room, until Palutena breached it with a chuckle. "Well, someone's been hanging around Viridi a lot."

"Wow, Lucas!" Toon Link exclaimed. "That was awesome."

"Yeah," Red remarked, placing his hand on the boy's shoulder. "You've grown a lot since then. You were strong then, but now you're pretty darn bada-"

"NO CURSING!" Peach screamed, slamming Red with a pillow and knocking him back onto the couch, unconscious.

A shiver of fear ran through the room.

* * *

_**AN- Finally got my OTP, LucinaxPittoo in there. Also, Lucas does a thing that doesn't involve his phone! Yay! **_

_**So, thanks for reading! -Twilight Joltik**_


	9. Toon Link makes Stupid Plans

_Ten Random Characters_

_Chapter 9_

Ignoring Red's unconsciousness, Peach proceeded with her game. "Okay, Lucas, what would you do if Toon Link made fun of your friends?"

"Did you see what I just did to Mewtwo?" Lucas dryly reminded the princess. "Probably that."

Toon Link squeaked in terror and held up a pillow in front of his face. "Please don't hurt me! I promise, I wouldn't ever, I-"

"Hey Toon, here's a question," Ike began. "If you're just another version of Link, why do you act nothing like him?"

"Yeah, that is weird," remarked Lucas. "I mean, Doctor Mario is exactly like regular Mario."

"And if you recall, Young Link was exactly like regular Link, except, well, younger," Roy reminisced.

"Yes, because there's a whopping three of us who were actually around back then," Marth pointed out.

Toon Link looked down. "Well, uh, Dark Pit acts nothing like Pit,"

"Darn right I don't," muttered a voice from the corner. The smashers glanced around to see Dark Pit looming in the corner, holding a piece of his Silver Bow in each hand. "Palutena, you'd better be grateful I was able to distract Lucina before you said all of that last chapter, or else we'd have some serious problems here."

Palutena gulped as the angel clone glared at her, twirling his blades menacingly. "Look, I don't see why we should be worrying about this. I mean, it's kind of obvious, she would have figured it out eventually."

"Figured what out?" asked Lucina, who stepped out of the hallway, one hand on her sheathed Falchion.

"Nothing," Dark Pit stated curtly.

"Then why did you run out here looking like you wanted to murder someone?" countered the Ylissean princess.

Glancing around, Dark Pit fixed his glare at his goddess once more. "She used that stupid nickname," he seethed.

Palutena sighed in relief. "Oh, so you aren't mad about what I said about you lo-"

"Being younger than me?" Ike quickly improvised, interrupting the goddess.

Dark Pit looked a bit confused at first, but quickly went with it. "No, but just so you know, I am older, considering I was cloned from Pit, who's older than you."

"I don't remember you saying anything about him being younger than Lord Ike," Lucina argued.

"We did," Marth quickly reassured her with a nervous grimace. "Just- just go back to Ness's room and tell Shulk thank you for calling The Doctor earlier."

Lucina saluted the blue-haired prince. "Yes, my lord!" she exclaimed as she rushed back down the hall. Dark Pit let out a small sigh of relief and started to turn around to join her, but Pit interrupted him.

"Hey, aren't you gonna thank Onii-chan for helping?" protested the angel. Ike facepalmed.

"For the last time," Dark Pit barked. "We are not brothers, and I am sure as Hades not related to some random Fire Emblem character who you have no relation to whatsoever!"

The angel clone stalked off, and Pit frowned. "You think he'll come around?" he questioned.

"Give him time," Palutena assured him.

"So, next question!" Peach read. "Lucas ignored Pit all the time."

"It'd make me sad," Pit replied with a frown. "Lucas, I thought we were friends!"

Lucas glanced at the angel in a way that quite clearly implied the opposite. "Probably because I saw one of Robin and Peach's stories about you."

"Hey, we don't have any of those yet, do we?" Robin exclaimed.

Peach giggled menacingly. "Well, I guess we'll just have do to a High School AU one-shot with him and Red!" Pit simply blushed, as the author didn't feel like thinking up a creative way to say it, and Red, thought he was unconscious and therefore hadn't heard it, probably would have been as well and threatening one of them with his Charizard.

"Here's a question," Ike muttered darkly. "Why would someone write a story about some cool character in a cool world with cool powers and weapons, and then just drop them in a boring high school without any of the things that made them cool?"

"Because getting rid of all that extra stuff leaves room for more shipping!" Peach exclaimed. Everyone groaned.

Toon Link, glancing at Red's unconscious form, uneasily put a hand on his shoulder and tried to shake him awake. "Um, speaking of Red, is anyone sure he's breathing?" the chibi Hylian questioned.

Everyone was suddenly reminded that the Pokémon Trainer hadn't moved for several paragraphs now, and a sense of dread filled the room. Palutena poked the boy with her staff, getting no reaction.

"I know!" Peach proposed happily. "I'll just give him a nice little Wake-Up Slap!"

"I have a better idea," Toon Link declared. "Since Jigglypuff can use a Wake-Up Slap attack, maybe we should bring it in here to wake Red up?"

"How would that be better than Peach slapping him?" Robin asked.

"I- um…"

"And furthermore," Marth countered. "Jigglypuff would likely just sing and end up putting us all to sleep and marking on our faces."

"Er…"

"Not to mention I don't even think it knows Wake-Up Slap," Lucas added.

Toon Link suddenly grabbed a blanket that was draped over one of the couches and hid under it. "I'm sorry!" he sobbed, his voice muffled. "I just wanted to do something helpful for once!"

Suddenly, Kirby burst in from absolutely nowhere and tackled the pile of blankets that hid Toon. "HUGS MAKE EVERYTHING BETTER!" cried the Super Tuff Pink Puff ™. A small whimper coming from Toon made this claim seem erroneous, but Kirby continued to glomp the young Hylian. "Now, Palutena, I challenge you… TO A COOK-OFF!"

The goddess smirked. "Very well then, but I must warn you; a goddess never loses."

The prospect of the two worst cooks in the entire mansion battling frightened the Smashers so greatly that it was said a shiver could be felt running through the entire universe that night, but maybe that was just because an Equestria Girls 2 trailer had been released.

* * *

_**AN- Gosh, all the reference jokes! I actually would like to know why High School AUs are a thing for the reasons Ike mentioned. The cook-off thing was Gamerfan64's idea, so thank you! **__**Anyways, I am so happy! **_The last chapter got five reviews in one night! That's a new record for me, and I'm so proud! Thank you to all of my readers, especially the reviewers! –Twilight Joltik


	10. Peach Wins

_Ten Random Characters _

_Chapter 10_

In the kitchen, two formidable fighters stood. Palutena was at one end, ladle in one hand and knife in the other. Kirby, on the other hand, had an adorable chef's hat on and was smiling eerily over a giant golden pot. The only other person in the room was Mr. Game and Watch, who was lurking in the shadows with a video camera that was streaming to a television in Ness's room, where the Smashers in Peach's game were currently hiding, a safe distance away from the chaos. Of course, even the two-dimensional Mr. Game and Watch was quaking in his shadowy boots, but he had been promised a handsome sum of orange juice to go with his breakfast food in a pan of some sort, so there was no backing out now.

Back in Ness's room, Shulk was attempting to keep the popcorn from Pit, who was eating far too much of it, while Roy and Marth had started a betting pool for the winner of the cook off. So far, "They'll both burn down the mansion" was in the lead, closely followed by "Master Hand will come out of nowhere and stop them". Other heavy contenders were "God, I don't care", which Dark Pit had bet quite a bit on, "Mr. Game and Watch", and "Probably not Sully", which Robin and Lucina had both bet on.

The announcer that tended to come out of no where called "Three! Two! One! Start!" and the two chefs began attacking the pantry rather viciously. Palutena had begun to murder some innocent carrots, and Kirby had thrown everything nearby into the pot, including the kitchen sink and most of the cooking utensils. The whole kitchen was a motion-sickness inducing blur (Lucas theorized that the camera and/or Mr. Game and Watch had been thrown into the pot), but after three minutes, it cleared up. Palutena was panting, holding a cauldron of struggling, animate carrots above her head, while Kirby was happily tasting his soup, which was an indistinguishable color that may have been the same color as a crayon box mixed together to the point where no color existed except the intangible quality of "Blarg". And no, even the author doesn't know what that means.

The smashers held their breath. What now? Who would be the taste tester, they all wondered.

"One, two three, NOT IT!" Pit called at light speed. The other smashers followed suit until the only one left in all the Smashverse that hadn't said it was Red, who was still debatably alive and sprawled out on the couch.

"Okay," Palutena stated cooly. "Red, I suppose you will be our taste tester."

The two chefs filled a bowl with each liquid, and R.O.B. let out a shudder. "Those poor bowls," he lamented. "They were so young!"

Peach suddenly grabbed a frying pan from the depths of Hammerspace and set out into the common room. "No!" she cried. "I won't let you kill him!"

Palutena shrugged. "It can't be that bad, can it?"

"Yes it can be!" shrieked the pretty pink princess. "I mean, my cooking isn't always peachy, pun intended, but you two can bring the greatest warriors in all of history on their knees with yours! So, can we just say that I win and call this off?"

Kirby suddenly threw the bowl onto Red, who instantly awoke. "What is that?" he asked frantically. "It burns and tastes like crayons."

Palutena promptly threw her bowl on the Pokémon Trainer as well, who shuddered. "That soup is raw. How can soup be raw?"

"Okay, Raw Soup or Crayons, which is better?" demanded the goddess.

Red looked very faint, and muttered. "I choose Peach…" before falling over.

"Well," Peach huffed. "You broke him. Again." She then slapped the Pokémon Trainer, who didn't move and then turned into a trophy.

With a tap of the trophy's base, Red revived. He promptly grabbed Palutena by her hair and Kirby by his… pink and threw them out the window. Considering it was barely ten feet off the ground, the two didn't get very hurt, but their feelings were more hurt than their bodies. "So," Red hissed. "When should we let them back in?"

From Ness's room, Marth glanced at the board on which the bets had been written. "So, who bet on Peach?" he asked. Bowser raised his claw, and Marth tossed twenty coins at him.

Meanwhile, Pit was frantically running around. "Dark Pit, you've gotta help me stop Palutena from making something explode!" he cried, pulling his dark clone out to the mansion grounds. Pittoo sighed, knowing struggling was futile.

"Hey!" Dark Pit yelled. "Just because you're a metaphysical being doesn't mean you can call me that, author!"

"Uh, is it just me or does it feel like the laws of the universe are sort of collapsing?" Ike asked.

Everyone quickly realized what was happening, and braced themselves. Suddenly, one of the walls of the room flopped over, revealing a Technicolor void.

Peach started to pull up turnips. "The world has been broken!" she exclaimed. "We'll be in for it now!"

Marth and Roy looked terrified; they remembered when this had happened before, all the way back in Melee. The other Smashers, bar the newest had heard the terrifying war stories from the Fourth Wall Siege of 2003, and were horror-stricken at the screaming masses emerging from the void.

"Fangirls," Roy muttered gravely. "Run."

* * *

_**AN- Yep, we officially broke the fourth wall. Now what? I don't know, but I'm scared. And also partially responsible...**_

"'Partially responsible'?" spat Roy in outrage. "What do you mean? This is all your fault!"

_**Okay, the Author's Note has been breached. How?**_

"Don't ask us," Robin huffed.

"You know," Marth added. "If you lot would just leave us alone we wouldn't have to fear this."

_**Okay, we need help. If you're reading this, please send me an OC to use in a task force to save the fourth wall! I'm sure the internets will be able to transfer your help into the fourth wall breach. Or, you know, you could send one to help invade them…**_

"Stop encouraging them!" cried Peach. "I might be a crazy fangirl, but not even I would stoop that low!"

_**No, it was just a suggestion! Look, I'm just trying to write a good story!**_

"Yeah right," Dark Pit, who is definitely not named Pittoo muttered darkly.

_**Eep! Um, before this gets too bad, thanks for reading! –Twilight Jol-**_

"Hey!" screeched Roy. "We're not done with you yet!

**tik**


	11. Chrom Messes up Plans

_Ten Random Characters_

_Chapter 11_

A swarm of rabid fangirls burst through the fourth wall, chanting indistinct threats. Pit and Dark Pit came back in with Palutena and Kirby in tow and gaped at the exposed void. "What did we miss?" asked Pit.

Palutena gave a wave of her staff and sent Pit flying off, leaving a hole in the ceiling. "I'll call you whenever it's safe to come back!" she called after him. His reply couldn't be heard, considering how far away he was.

"I'm going with Pit," Viridi proclaimed as she teleported away.

"I am in charge now," proclaimed Robin. "Any objections?"

No one objected, as this had nothing to do with Phoenix Wright.

Robin erased the bets from the whiteboard and grabbed a marker. She drew five stick figures; one with wings and spiky hair, one with longer hair and a crudely drawn crown, one with spiky hair and a headband, one with some sort of headband thing and a cape, and one with a pointed hat ears. She wrote "Pit", "Marth", "Ike", "Roy", and "Link" under them, and drew an X through Pit. "Okay, these five are in the most danger from the fangirls. Palutena, nice going getting Pit out of here so quickly. Now we just need to figure out how to get the rest of them out," Robin instructed.

"Why are we in the most danger?" Marth asked, trying to push the furniture in the room up against the fourth wall.

"Because you're the attractive teenaged boys, which is the primary prey of the fangirls," explained the tactician. "Now, I say that we have Charizard and Jigglypuff take two of you, which leaves two more. Mewtwo, can you teleport with someone in tow?"

The purple psychic mutant nodded. "I shall take the green one," he affirmed telepathically before grabbing non-Toon Link by the back of his tunic and teleporting away. Robin drew an X through her crude drawing of Link.

"How dare you take two of the best characters away!1!1!" roared one of the fangirls.

"Yeah!11!1!1" another cried. "I ship Link with my OC!11!1"

Another laughed demonically. "At least we still have the precious Fire Emblem boys."

Ike, Marth and Roy held their swords out in front of them. "Robin, do something!" trembled Marth, who was half hiding behind Ike.

With a smirk, Robin pulled out a card from somewhere in her really cool robe. "Fear not, I have a plan!"

The tactician held out the card and slashed it in the air. "Open, Gate of the Red Lion, Roy!" she called. The card glowed and blue light shot out of it, taking the form of a near mirror image of Roy, save for looking a bit older and wearing a different outfit.

"You called, miss Robin?" the copy Roy asked with a bow.

"Yes, I need you to distract those fangirls," Robin ordered, pointing at the frightening hoard that was being precariously held back with a combination of random cardboard boxes, courtesy of Snake and various pieces of furniture.

"Wait, I can help too!" Lucina offered. Robin opened her mouth to object, but was cut off by Lucina holding a card much like Robin's and swinging it in a similar way. "Open, Gate of the Emblem Prince, Marth!" Lucina cried, making a figure that looked an awful lot like Lucina with shorter hair appear.

"Great, Marth, help Roy distract them," Robin ordered. The copy prince nodded.

With an amused laugh, the real Marth and Roy watched their copies look at the swarm of fangirls nervously before running into their midst. "They're Einherjar, correct?" asked the real Marth.

"Yeah, got them from helping this weird old man who had them stolen," Robin explained.

"Will they be okay?" Roy questioned, watching the swarm of fans rip into the poor Einherjar, screaming wildly.

"Don't worry, they just zap back into the cards once they die," Robin reassured the lord. "They'll just be scarred for life, that's all! Okay, and I'll have to pay to get the card to work again, but we have Golden Gaffe, so it's no big deal."

Ike, staring intently at the Einherjar, frowned. "Hey, why isn't there one of me?"

"Chrom had that one," Robin sighed. "Shame, it would have been helpful."

A voice in the distance called "Well, lucky I'm here!" and then "Open, gate of the Radient Hero, Ike!". Ike's copy materialized next to Marth's and Roy's, and Chrom took his place by Robin's side.

Sputtering in indignation, Robin asked "Why are you here?".

"Viridi told Phosphora to rally up the Assist Trophies and other non-fighters to help, so I came running as soon as I heard," Chrom explained. "And between the two of us, Lucina, and Marth, we have nothing to fear."

The tactician hit Chrom hard on his shoulder with her Elfire tome. "Idiot! You just made everything ten time worse! I had this all under control until you showed up!"

As Robin stalked back to the drawing board and drew a stick figure Chrom and wrote his name under it, the Ylissian Exalt asked a question with an obvious answer: "Why am I a problem?"

The fangirls gladly answered. "ZOMG!1! It's Chrom!11!1 I married him in Awakening!1!1"

"OMG ChromxMU for life!1!" another cried, reaching through the barricade and snatching a piece of Chrom's sleeve, which the fangirls proceeded to squabble loudly over.

"Oh," Chrom shuddered.

"Ah-ha!" Robin suddenly exclaimed. "I have an idea!"

She held up another Einherjar and called "Open, gate of the Queen Crimea, Elicina!". A green-haired woman riding an Alicorn that was inexplicably referred to as a Falcon materialized. "Elicina, you have a Rescue Staff, right?"

"Yes, milady," affirmed the copy of Elicina.

"Okay, so go ride really far away and use the Rescue Staff to get Marth, Ike, Roy, Chrom and, er," Robin glanced around the room, her eyes darting between Red, Lucas, Lucina, Shulk, and Dark Pit, as if trying to decide which was in the most danger. "Lucina out of here, got it?"

Elicina bowed her head and flew away on her steed of questionable species. After a few turns of trying to secure the barricade, which the fangirls were threatening to topple over, the five Fire Emblem characters were warped away. "Okay, Palutena, can you use your Power of Flight to get Dark Pit out of here? And Red, how many people could Charizard carry?" demanded Robin.

The goddess of light nodded and flicked her staff, sending Pit's dark clone flying off like his light counterpart. "Um, Charizard could probably carry one larger or two smaller smashers," Red answered. "So, Lucas, Ness, get on and Charizard will take you to safety."

"But I don't want to leave you behind!" Lucas sobbed. "You might die! And I don't want more people I care about dead!"

Red sent out Ivysaur, who grabbed Lucas and Ness with its vines and hopped onto Charizard, dragging the PK users into the sky.

Robin gave a sigh of relief "Okay, now we just have to worry about-"

Right that instant, the barricade collapsed. "What happened to all the good characters?1?!1!?" asked one of the fangirls, who was brandishing a home-run bat.

"Tell me where my husbando went!1!1" cried another, holding a Killing Edge that looked similar to the one the Einherjar Roy had possessed in his inventory.

The smashers were terrified. Even Robin was out of idea. But suddenly, a voice rang out from the very fabric of time-space. A group of people who were most certainly OCs emerged from the side of what was the fourth wall.

"_**Deux ex Machina time!" cried a young woman wearing the same clothes as Robin, but having straight pink hair with black ribbons in it. She held an Elwind tome in one hand and a pen in the other. **_

"_**Fourth Wall Task Force go!" called a orange Kirby creature brandishing a yo-yo.**_

"Uh, why is the text all the sudden bold and italicized like in the Author's Notes?" questioned Red.

"_**Because, sugarcube, we are the authors!" giggled a Mawile wearing a hardhat with an odd accent. **_

_**A robot master rolled his "eyes". "No, we're just the Authors' OCs."**_

"_**And we're here to fix the fourth wall!" cried a human girl. "But first, eek, I just can't get over how awesome it is that the REAL Zelda and Toon Link are here, no matter how many times we do this!"**_

"Pardon, but I don't believe you've ever done this before," Zelda pointed out.

_**A younger boy shook his head as he blasted one of the fangirls with a PK attack."Nah, we do this at least once a week. We just wipe your memories afterwards."**_

Robin's eye twitched. "B-bu-but…"

"_**Okay, let's end this!" cried a voice from the back of the group. "But first, Robin, you have to promise to give Priam another chance!"**_

"Why?" the irritated tactician questioned.

"_**Because I ship it," replied the same OC. "Now, Lilucky Finale, go!"**_

The room flashed with light and everyone was teleported back into it as the fourth wall closed without any recollection of the horrors that had unfurled.

"Uh, what just happened?" asked Dark Pit. "One minute I was being dragged outside to help Palutena, and now we're just back in here."

"It happens," shrugged Pit. "Now, let's get back to the game!"

Peach looked around the room and saw a few people she hadn't remembered being there, such as Chrom and Phosphora. "Why don't we continue in here?" she suggested cheerfully. "And instead of choosing a random person for the questions that don't specify a character, we can just choose a random person that's not playing!"

The non-players groaned as they saw what they were getting dragged into.

* * *

_**AN- Well, everything's back to normal. Thank you all for letting me borrow your OCs. They were just for this one chapter, though, so please don't submit any more; we can't risk the fourth wall breaking twice in the same fic. And if I didn't mention your OC, they were still there, don't worry. The Robin-like character is my OC; one of my Avatars. So, new rule change! I thought it'd be fun to include other characters. Also, quite proud of myself for that Fairy Tail reference. So, thanks for reading! –Twilight Joltik**_


	12. Dark Pit Explodes

_Ten Random Characters_

_Chapter 12_

With a frightening giggle, Peach flipped through her papers, trying to find where they'd left off. "Okay," she read cheerfully. "Shulk, two serial killers are hunting you down."

"Any particular reason?" questioned the Monado wielder, who was busy playing on his 3DS and barely looked up.

The mushroom princess shook her head. "No. So, what would Palutena do?"

"Probably just send Pit after them," the goddess replied. "That usually does the trick."

"Would it kill you to do it yourself for once?" Dark Pit muttered under his breath.

Palutena shot the cloned angel a dark look. "No, but your older brother would probably enjoy a fun mission, don't you think, Pittoo?" mocked Palutena.

Dark Pit jumped from his seat, knocking the popcorn bowl out of Pit's hands. He produced an Electroshock arm from thin air and charged at the goddess, who sent up a Reflect Barrier just in time. Viridi then gave a small wave of her staff, causing Dark Pit's wings to glow green and pull him backwards so quickly that he almost knocked the couch over as he was thrown back between Shulk and Lucina.

"Let's continue, shall we?" Peach eagerly changed the subject. "So, Kirby, what would Roy get you for your birthday?"

Robin glanced over Peach's shoulder and frowned. "Hey, I thought number three was Pit, not Roy!" she corrected.

Peach shot Robin a death glare, and Pit looked rather hurt. "Why would you forget me?" he asked, his eyes welling up with tears. "Did I do something wrong?"

Pit began to sob about it being Melee all over again, but Kirby piped up to reassure the angel. "It's not your fault, they just want to keep Palutena and Pittoo out of it," chirped the pink puff, who was in an instant launched against the wall by smack from Dark Pit's Silver Bow.

"Would people just stop calling me that!" seethed Dark Pit.

"Sorry, it's just a lot shorter and easier to say than 'Dark Pit'," apologized Kirby, who had recovered unnaturally quickly. "And, hey, Peach, I want to show them something, so can I interrupt your game for a sec?"

Peach smiled and set her papers down. "Of course, since you asked so nicely!" She shot a glare towards Pit and added "Unlike some people…" in a dark murmur.

Kirby then jumped up behind Shulk and inhaled sharply, sucking the Monado into his gaping jaw..

"No! Stop that! Give that back!" Shulk cried, putting his 3DS down and reaching for the pink puff, who now had a smaller version of the Monado on his back.

A blue symbol appeared behind Kirby as he cried "Speed!" and then proceeded to shoot around the room at Sonic-esque speeds.

Shulk sputtered in shock. "H-how is that possible? I thought I was the only one here who could wield the Monado!"

Kirby spat out the Monado, which Shulk hurriedly dried with paper towels, and then ate Lucina's Falchion, gaining a mask like the one Lucina wore to masquerade as Marth, which looked completely adorable on the pink puff. Kirby produced Lucina's blade and slashed the roll of paper towels Shulk was using in two.

With an awkward laugh, Lucina asked "How is that even possible? Only Lord Marth's lineage is able to use the Falchion, and I don't believe I'm related to a pink marshmallow."

Kirby spat out Lucina's sword. "Dunno, but it's cool!" he exclaimed.

Marth quickly took half of the paper towel role Shulk had used and attempted to clean the blade while Peach repeated her earlier question. "So, Pit, not Roy, what would you get Kirby for his birthday?"

"That floor ice cream sounds good!" Kirby interjected.

Pit punched the air in victory. "Yeah, you know what I mean! See, Palutena, there's nothing wrong with getting whatever food source comes your way!"

"Maybe Kirby's related to Pit instead of Marth?" Ike suggested with a laugh.

"So does that mean Kirby's part angel or Pit and Pittoo are part pink puff?" Palutena mused.

Another enraged hiss came from the angel clone, who got up and began to stalk off to the door. "That's it!" he roared. "You people are invasive lunatics that have no concept of personal boundaries! I'm going to bed, and maybe in the morning you people will be sane!"

Palutena called out "Dark Pit, wait!", but elicited no response except his violent throwing open of the door. She sighed and gave a wave of her staff, which sent Dark Pit flying backwards with her Power of Flight. She then pointed the staff towards Lucina, who Dark Pit was sent barreling into, being pushed into an accidental kiss.

Both Dark Pit and Lucina blushed, and as the Power of Flight wore off, Dark Pit broke away the second he could and ran through the door as fast as he could, slamming it behind him. Lucina picked her sword, which thanks to Marth was no longer covered in Kirby residue, and lunged at Palutena. "How dare you do such a thing!" spat the Ylissian princess with venom.

"I'd resolved to get you two together by the end of the night, and I couldn't have Pittoo running off without admitting his feelings," Palutena explained coolly.

"Didn't it occur to you that he should be left to admit those feelings when he chose, not when you became impatient?" Lucina cried.

Palutena had no response, and simply looked at the slammed shut door sadly.

"And furthermore," continued Lucina. "Neither of us had ever been kissed before, and you just eliminated any possibility of it being special to either of us!" Lucina placed her sword back in its sheath and opened the door. "Now, if you excuse me, I need to go find my friend."

A painful silence pierced the room as Lucina shut the door once more. Finally Palutena muttered in a small voice "What have I done?"

"I believe this is what humans call 'messing up'," Meta Knight stated.

"You overstepped your boundaries," Peach scoffed haughtily. "Now, let's continue with my game before you make anyone else sad."

* * *

_**AN- Well, that was pretty dark for this story. I kind of had planned on Palutena using the Power of Flight to try to get them together, but on second thought, I figured it probably wouldn't have been okay with either of them, so I just painted it in a different light than I had originally intended to. And I sort of altered Gamerfan64's suggestion as part of this. Thanks for reading! –Twilight Joltik **_


	13. Lucina's Heart

_Ten Random Characters_

_Chapter 13_

Lucina had noticed long ago Dark Pit had a habit of disappearing without a word for hours, and though she looked for him, she hadn't been able to find any trace of him. Of course, this was before she'd heard some sprays of cursing about some archer shooting down a Pegasus Knight coming from the closet in the laundry room one night when she was on laundry duty. She'd never told Dark Pit she'd found his hiding place, but she had sometimes used that room as a place to read whenever she grew impatient of her roommate's constant banter, which was more often than not directed solely at herself rather than Lucina.

On this night, she was grateful she hadn't told him she knew of the place, because she was certain she was the last person he wanted to see. Unfortunately, she could not allow his to be left to his own devices to sulk and feel guilty about what had happened, so she knocked squarely on the closet door and heard a small shriek in reply.

"Pit, just leave me alone!" hissed the angel clone. "I don't want to talk to anyone and I'm in the middle of the third stage of Apotheosis."

She lamented her inability to do a good Pit impression and quickly took a few hair pins and pinned her hair back like she had so long ago when masquerading as the Hero King. Hopefully the light would be dim enough that he couldn't see her face well enough to doubt her persona. "It's Marth," she lied in a lower register than usual. "We figured a non-involved party would be the best one to send to console you."

A gap of silence in which she could practically hear Dark Pit rolling his ruby eyes followed. "Lucina, I know it's you," he retorted sadly. "I'm not as stupid as I look."

Throwing the door open, Lucina pushed the top of Dark Pit's 3DS down. "I'm not upset with you. You know that, right?"

"Why shouldn't you be?" asked the angel clone, avoiding eye contact.

With an exasperated laugh, Lucina cried "Because you did nothing wrong! If anything, I should be mad at Palutena, which I am."

"She didn't kiss you," Dark Pit pointed out dejectedly, looking intently at the blue light coming from the sleeping handheld console on his lap.

"She might as well have," declared Lucina. "If she would have just left you to confess when you were ready to do so, everything would have been fine. Now I just kind of feel she ruined that for us."

In the faint blue light, Lucina could barely make out the crimson flush on the boy's cheeks. "W-what us?" he stammered out.

With a sigh, Lucina put a hand on the angel clone's shoulder. She sometimes forgot how clueless boys were when it came to girl's feelings. "Look, it's not as if I didn't notice that I'm the only person you don't completely despise. I've known you felt this way for a while, and if I'm being entirely honest, I was happy that my feelings were returned. I only hope Palutena didn't repel you from them."

"Wait, you knew? And you didn't hate me?"

"Of course not," Lucina affirmed. "Before I met you, I hated every inch of this stupid mansion! I wished I'd never Ylisse in the first place. I mean, Robin's nice, but she can get a bit irritating in large doses, and Lord Marth was nothing like I'd expected. Well, I mean, he's still incredible, but I didn't expect him to be quite so dramatic. Honestly, I feel Inigo and Owain take after him more than I do. But that aside, I just feel like you understand me so well, and you feel like a bit of home and something new and wonderful at the same time. I couldn't hate this place for a minute now, because if it wasn't for this place I'd never have met you, and I don't want to imagine a world where I never knew you."

She was pulled into a hug by Dark Pit, which was probably the first hug he'd willingly given in his whole existence. "I hated this place too. The only reason I'm even here was that after Pit left I was practically dead because of that stupid clone link we have, so I had to come here too if I didn't want to be out cold until he came back. Really, you're the only thing keeping me from choosing near death over this place. Thank you, I guess."

"For not being upset or for returning your feelings?"

"Both, I guess," Dark Pit replied with a laugh, breaking away from the hug. "Can we keep us a secret for now, though? I don't want Palutena thinking what she did was a good thing, or God forbid Peach and Robin start writing Fanfiction about us."

Lucina nodded. "I suppose that's wise. I don't want to hide it, and it'll probably get out by the end of the night anyways, but I just don't want Palutena to do something about that crush Pit has on Rosalina."

"Wait, what?" exclaimed Dark Pit in shock. "What crush? Why don't I know about this?"

With a giggle, Lucina marveled at his obliviousness. "Really? He gawks over her every time they're in twenty feet of each other! How did you not notice that?"

"Sometimes I wonder if Robin is really your mother instead of Olivia," Dark Pit jested. "You certainly seem to care an awful lot about peoples' love lives."

"I grew up with Inigo flirting at every girl that came his way, remember?" Lucina countered. "It's not easy to come out of that childhood without knowing exactly what it looks like when someone has a crush."

For some reason, Dark Pit flinched at the word "childhood". Was that because he really didn't have a childhood except coming out of a mirror to attack his light counterpart or for some other reason? "Hey, do you remember what Marth was saying earlier about us all being clones?" he quickly blurted out.

"Yes, but why is that important right now?"

"There's some truth to that," divulged Dark Pit rather gloomily and quickly. "Well, as in some of us are clones and some of aren't. For instance, I'm not a clone, and neither are Mario or Kirby, but Shulk and Olimar are."

"And Marth is one as well, right?" Lucina added. "Well, that explains how I exist while he clearly is not with Lady Cadea."

"Yeah. All of the people from your world are, actually," admitted Dark Pit sheepishly.

After a moment, it registered in Lucina's mind what that meant, exactly. "Me included?" A nod from Dark Pit confirmed it. Something inside of Lucina wanted to freak out over this revelation, but something else told her that it wasn't anything to worry about. All it meant is that this place was her home, not Ylisse. While that may change some of the friendships she thought she had before Smash, that didn't change anything about her, or the fact that she had friends here. It was almost a good thing, as it meant she wouldn't have any obligation to leave the friends she made here.

"Alright. I suppose that means I have no reason to return to Ylisse after this is over. Perhaps if the flames of ardor haven't cooler by then I could come to Skyworld with you when the tournament ends," Lucina offered, taking deep breaths to suppress her slight panic.

Another hug was given as return. "I shouldn't have told you that," Dark Pit sobbed into the folds of her cape. "But thank you. Lucina, I really do li- no, love you."

Something warm fluttered deep in Lucina's chest. She didn't ever want to part from his embrace, but people would start to worry if they didn't hear from them soon. "Love you too. We should go back to the game now. They're probably starting to place bets on whether or not we made out again."

With a laugh, Dark Pit stood up and took Lucina's hand to pull her up. Hand in hand, they walked back to Ness's room, but they reluctantly let go before entering.

* * *

_**AN- I know what you're thinking. "But Joltik, where's the funny? I like the funny!" Well, the funny will be back next chapter. I just wanted to write a nice little fluff for my current OTP (well, other than IkexMarth and RedxLucas…), and it fit in well with the heavier themes in the story. If you'd like, as a peace offering, I'll make the next chapter the one where the characters just say who they married in Awakening I mentioned a while back. So, thanks for reading! –Twilight Joltik**_


	14. Lissa is a Heartbreaker

_Ten Random Characters_

_Chapter 14_

With a glance at her list, Peach frowned. "Shame, I really wanted to use Lucina for this next question. How about we kill time until they get back, okay?"

"We could sing Vocaloid songs!" Jigglypuff happily suggested.

"Or we could say who we married in Awakening!" Robin countered eagerly.

With a frown, Jigglypuff muttered "I liked my idea better…" before taking a deep breath and beginning a song. "August fifteenth at twelve-thirty noon, I don't see a cloud above, the sun is shining down~ What a pretty day~," she sang, the entire room feeling drowsier with every note.

As the Smashers dropped off like flies, Red covered the most adorable thing in the room's mouth with his hands. "Stop singing!" he half-pleaded, half-yawned. "Everyone's going to fall asleep!"

Jigglypuff bit him, and glared at him as he rushed to find a bandage for his bleeding hand. "Fine, then," she huffed. "I won't treat any of you to the most beautiful rendition of Kagerou Days known to the universe."

"I'm sorry, Jigglypuff," Lucas apologized, blinking the sleep out of his eyes.

The Normal/Fairy type Pokémon marched out of the room haughtily, Kirby following her. "If you make Jigglypuff sad, you make me sad too…" Kirby pouted, slamming the door behind them.

"Aw," Peach gushed, shaking Robin awake. "Aren't they a cute couple?"

"Yeah," Robin yawned, turning her head towards Ike and Marth, who had fallen asleep rather close together, Ike's head resting on Marth's shoulder. "Those two are really sweet too."

The conscious Smashers could practically hear the gears turning in Peach's head as she snatched Lucas's cell phone and snapped a picture of the pair. The clacking of the phone's keyboard showed her less than benign intentions. Roy quickly lunged to wake them up, leaning over Chrom (who was looking at his ancestor with a great deal of confusion) and jabbing Marth in the arm rather forcefully. As the prince struggled to break out of Jigglypuff's sleepy haze, he muttered "What was that for?"

"Just because you said you liked him doesn't mean PDA won't make certain people fangirl and start writing Fanfiction or something," Roy rebutted.

Marth shook Ike awake, apologizing. "I'm sorry to wake you, but I think it's probably best if you maybe find a different pillow. I mean, not that I mind, but I think Chrom's going to self-destruct if he thinks about this too hard."

"Yeah, how can I still exist if my ancestor is with someone other than Lady Cadea?" Chrom questioned, his eye twitching.

"Doesn't Marth have a sister or something?" Ike suggested sleepily, grabbing a throw pillow off of the floor and wedging it between Marth's shoulder and his head.

"Let's move on to what Robin suggested!" Peach eagerly cried to spare Chrom a very painful headache. "I'll start. I married Chrom."

Chrom looked rather disturbed by this development. "Okay, why?" he asked, looking a bit scared of the pink-clad princess.

"Had to be royalty somehow," Peach dismissed flippantly. "Besides," she added with a wink. "You're really quite a catch."

"Aren't you with Mario or something?" Chrom questioned desperately.

Peach glanced at the commander of the Shepherds, annoyed. "No, not really," she deadpanned. "That's just a publicity thing."

"I married Sumia!" Marth continued desperately to get his "descendent" out of that conversation.

"What, not Priam?" Palutena snickered. "Not following your waifu's example, are you?"

Marth sighed exasperatedly. "I married Tiki," Roy told quickly.

"Excuse me?" Marth snarled. "I didn't give you permission to marry my little sister."

Roy looked scared and darted out of Marth's glare, behind Chrom. "It was kind of an accident," Roy explained, trembling. "She mentioned you so I wanted to know more about her, so I gave her all the support conversations I could, and it bugged me that I hadn't gotten all of the possible ones, and I hadn't married anyone yet, so…"

Marth relaxed his glare, but still looked quite agitated. "Okay, Lyn, have you played it?" he asked the green haired swordswoman, who no one had noticed before.

"I married Lon'qu," Lyn stated with a smirk. "And we had a lovely little family of Swordmasters."

"I married Lissa!" Pit told cheerfully, not noticing Chrom's glare.

Ness's eyes focused on the angel, narrowing. "Funny, I married Lissa too," he remarked.

"Cool! So Owain was your kid too?" Pit asked, blissfully unaware of the people glaring daggers at him.

"She was mine first," Ness huffed. "I'd decided I'd marry her before I even got the game."

Pit finally felt the piercing glares and shuttered. "I-I'm not trying to steal her or anything!" he explained nervously. "So please stop looking at me like that."

"Hey, why don't we see who she likes better?" Viridi suggested with a malicious grin. So many of the smashers tried to stop her, but the wave of her staff stopped it, as the blonde cleric materialized on the carpet in front of them and blinked anxiously.

"Um, hey? Why am I here?" she asked nervously.

"Would you rather be with Pit or Ness?" Viridi pressed, reflecting a pillow barrage coming from Chrom nonchalantly.

"Who?" Lissa asked. Ness and Pit both stood up, Pit flushing scarlet and Ness both blushing at Lissa and glaring at Pit.

After looking between the two for a moment, she shrugged. "I don't really know either of you, so I don't really care. Besides, I'm married."

Ness and Pit both looked crestfallen, their eyes streaming with tears. "She's married to Lon'qu, by the way," Robin added as Viridi happily zapped Lissa back to wherever she'd previously been. Lyn promptly joined the "Heartbroken over Waifu" club.

"Okay, let's move on," Peach giggled nervously. "Red, you haven't said-"

She was interrupted by the door being slammed open. The smashers turned their heads, expecting to see Lucina and Dark Pit, but instead saw a woman with a green ponytail and red dress, a pink cape flowing from her back. Rage was radiating from her like a heat haze, and the author groaned at having made three jokes about the same series in the same chapter. "Hello, Tiki!" Marth greeted nervously, trying to duck out of her terrifying glare.

The Manakete simply walked up to Ike and held his collar firmly, like people did in movies when they were threatening someone. "Look, I don't know who you are, but it has come to my attention that you like Mar-Mar, correct?"

Ike snickered at the nickname she'd given the prince, and promptly received a rather painful kick in the shin from Tiki.

* * *

_**AN-Hey look, the funny's back! Okay, Panda-chan1358, you read this, right? I know you like the series I kept referencing, so that joke's for you. Anyways, for those who don't play Fire Emblem, Lissa is Chrom's younger sister, Priam is Ike's (alleged) descendent, and Tiki is a Manakete (humanoid that can turn into a dragon and live far longer than most humans) that adopted Marth as her big brother. This chapter takes place at the same time as the last one, in case that confused anyone. Also, speaking of last chapter, I made a silly mistake that I fixed, but I kind of feel bad about it 'cause it was a kind of big mix-up that just proves I never pay attention in Science class. It's fixed now, so sorry about that. So, thanks for reading! –Twilight Joltik**_


	15. No One Listens to Shulk

_Ten Random Characters_

_Chapter 15_

Tiki began to spit threats at Ike. "If you hurt Mar-Mar, I will make sure that the wrath of not only the entirety of Archenea falls upon you, but also the wrath of the entirety of the Divine Dragon Tribe!" she snarled.

"H-how did you even know about this?" asked Ike, utterly terrified of Tiki's glare.

Peach gave a small chuckle. "Actually, it's my fault," she admitted cheerfully. "I took a cute picture of you two all snuggled up together and sent it to a few of your friends. Hope you don't mind!"

"Oh, and that reminds me, Kris told me that he'll sic Katarina on you if you break Mar-Mar's heart. That alone should be incentive enough to mind yourself," threatened Tiki.

"'Kris'?" repeated Robin. "As in the Kris? The one that was the first playable avatar in Fire Emblem history?" She then proceeded to squee. Loudly. "Ohmigosh, I've always wanted to meet him!"

Viridi smirked. "Alright, I suppose I could summon him for you," she chuckled mischievously. A wave of her vine-covered staff made a cloaked figure materialize in the room. However, the smashers who knew what Kris looked like were fairly certain it wasn't him, and the ones who did recognize him knew the situation had gotten very awkward very quickly.

"Of all the people to accidentally summon instead of Kris, why did it have to be Soren?" asked Zelda, who knew the boy well from her many playthroughs of Path of Radiance and Radiant Dawn.

"Oops, did I summon the wrong one?" Viridi snickered in a way that very clearly suggested it was intentional.

Tiki marched across the room and started pushing Soren towards Ike, who was red with embarrassment. "You're friends with Ike, correct?" Tiki barked.

"Yes," stated Soren.

"Great. Can you tell him to not hurt Mar-Mar? He might listen to you," Tiki ordered.

With a slow blink, Soren asked "Excuse me?" before glancing at Marth, who was holding Ike's pillow in front of him like a shield. Soren's eyes narrowed into a red-hot beam of death.

Snatching the pillow, Soren started into his own brand of tirade, delivering it slowly and calmly. "Ike is my best and only friend. I will ensure that if Ike is hurt by your hand, I will personally rip you to shreds and make you suffer a slow, painful death. And then I will pick up the broken pieces of my dearest Ike and we shall run away together to lands unknown and live happily ever after. Is this understood?"

Marth nodded while Ike facepalmed. Soren then walked off casually and was warped off by Viridi. After a moment of painful silence, Peach snickered "Yandere, much?"

"What exactly is your relationship with him anyways?" Roy asked. "I've always been confused by that."

Ike sighed. "So have I."

Robin cast an anxious glance towards the door. "Hey, shouldn't Dark Pit and Lucina be back by now?"

"I volunteer to go look for them!" cried Pit quickly.

As the light angel got up, Palutena caught him by his trailing scarf. "We should leave them alone," she stated solemnly.

Red suddenly looked around the room anxiously. "Hey, does anyone know where Lu-"

"So what should we do until they get back?" Peach questioned, interrupting Red.

Tiki gave a small cough. "You do realize I'm still here, right?" she exclaimed sharply.

"Tiki, you are dismissed," Marth coolly ordered. The Manakete simply fumed.

"You can't order me around, Mar-Mar!" she hissed.

"Usually works on Lucina," Marth muttered.

A small cry of surprise came from Shulk as his eyes glowed blue. "Wait!" cried the Homs. "She's not-"

Marth cut him off. "Wait, we're kind of busy arguing right now. Please don't interrupt, I'm sure whatever it was you had to say can wait until we're done."

"No, it's actually really importa-"

The door swung open at that moment, interrupting Shulk. Lucina and Dark Pit stood in the hall, standing a bit suspiciously close together. With one look at Tiki, Lucina drew her blade. "Imposter!" she snarled. "Your portrayal of Lady Tiki is poor, at best."

Tiki gave a crooked smile and laughed. "Pity it took you lot so long to figure it out, pathetic children."

"Tiki's" form flickered, revealing a lavender bipedal cat known to most as Mewtwo, but to a few as "The Great and Powerful Lord That Clone Cat that is Totally not at All Like Giygis or Shadow and has a Tendency to Threaten Other Smashers which is Probably Why he got Kicked out of the Tournament in the First Place, Even Though he was Brought Back Later because Fan Demand". However, that title is really freaking long, and therefore not many people use it.

"I would have said something if Marth and Martwo hadn't interrupted me," Shulk corrected. "Also, why did you pretend to be Tiki anyway?"

Mewtwo cackled. "Simple. To distract you."

"From what?" asked Dark Pit. "The fact that this place was boring without me?"

Red hissed, casting another glance around the room and frowning. "Hey, did anyone see where Lucas went?" he asked.

Everyone automatically looked at Mewtwo suspiciously.

* * *

_**AN- Yes, Soren is way OOC. I know. This is a comedy series, I overplay certain characters' personality traits for comedic effect, and frankly, no one's been in character this entire series. Also, I think I need to keep a tally on what references I make and how many times I reference a thing. And for those who suggested ideas, I'll get to them eventually. So, thanks for reading! –Twilight Joltik**_


	16. Lucario Underestimates Human Intellect

_Ten Random Characters_

_Chapter 16_

Mewtwo quickly teleported away at the first mention of Lucas. Red replied by hissing "Go find Lucario! Now!" at Zelda, then looking around the room desperately. "Think!" he barked. "Did Tiki-two touch anything?"

"She grabbed me while she was yelling at me," Ike blurted. "By the collar. But why-?"

Red grabbed half of Dark Pit's Silver Bow from out of his hand, meriting him a snarl from the angel clone, who was being held back by Lucina. The Pokémon Trainer then walked up to Ike and held the collar of his shirt, neatly severing it from the rest of the shirt with a clean swipe from the weapon he'd "borrowed".

"Perfect!" Red exclaimed, holding the scrap of fabric gingerly.

Ike looked at him oddly. "Er, how is my shirt going to help us find Lucas?"

"You'll see," Red stated with a smirk. "Now, Zelda, are you back with Lucario yet?"

No answer came, as Zelda was not in the room at the moment. "Okay, I guess not!" Red exclaimed after an awkward moment of silence.

Zelda chose that very moment to re-enter the room, the Aura-wielder in tow. "Master Red, I understand you require my services?" Lucario telepathically prompted.

Red thrust the scrap of Ike's collar at him. "I need you to track the aura of-"

Lucario cut him off by snatching the fabric and closing his eyes. "The one you seek is there, Master Red," Lucario deadpanned, pointing at Ike with a frown. "Though I do not understand why you required my services to find someone who was ten feet away from you."

Facepalming, Red shook his head. "No, not Ike, Mewtwo! Mewtwo touched that fabric, so some of his aura's still on there, right? We need to find Mewtwo as soon as we can!"

"Mewtwo?" Lucario repeated. "I saw him just a moment ago. He is in the basement, poking that blond boy your aura always flares up around with a stick. Would you like me to lead you to him?"

Red snatched the other half of Dark Pit's bow, Ragnell, Palutena's staff, and the Monado. "You can't use that here!" Shulk cried out as the Pokémon Trainer grabbed his weapon and started out the door.

Red looked back at the Homs with a glare. "Can I use it anywhere else?"

"Well, no. You can't use it at all, actually," Shulk explained. "Only I can, or at least, only I can without going mental."

"Shut up, we don't have time for this!" Red snarled. "Besides, I'm not using this, Ivysaur is."

"Wait, you're giving a weapon to a Pokémon?" reiterated Palutena. "Does that make any sense?"

With a groaning sigh, Red dashed out the door, artillery in tow. "We don't have time for sense!" he cried. "Lucario, take me to that purple-tailed problem!"

As Lucario and Red ran down the hall, Pit shoved his bow into Dark Pit's hands. "Go stop Red from doing anything stupid, okay?" Pit requested with a smile.

"Can't you do it yourself?" sneered his dark clone. "Or did Palutena not order you to?"

"Just go," ordered Lucina, shoving Dark Pit towards the door. "Stop Red from killing something."

The goddess in question pulled the vine-covered staff Viridi held from out of her hands. "I'm going too. After all, I can't let Red break my staff. It was pretty expensive and I don't want to waste the funds Skyworld's saving up to build a new fountain," declared the goddess. "Well, and if that blue orb thing breaks the universe might explode, but that's really just a side note." She added with a sarcastic huff.

After looking desperately at Robin, who gave a shake of her head, Roy handed his sword to Ike. "I guess since he stole from you as well, you'll need a weapon," Roy muttered. "If I see a single scratch on this thing, I'm going to drop you from two-hundred feet in the air, turn you into an ice cube, and let you shatter into a million little pieces, understood?"

"That's actually kind of what I expected you to say whenever that… well, whatever it was that happened after The Doctor stopped the fourth wall from breaking," Ike remarked.

Roy shrugged. "Look, I've been waiting for you two to get together for the past seven years," Roy admitted. "And honestly, if he has to be with someone, it's better Marth choose you rather than one of those lunatics." Roy cast a dark glare back at Peach and Zelda, who were watching the conversation with great interest.

Marth gave Roy a hug from behind. "Thank you, Roy," Marth stated with a warm smile. "And sorry to have made you wait for so long."

"No, seriously, why did it take so long for you two to get together?" asked Roy. "If you liked him for all this time, why couldn't you have just told him that a few years ago? It would have spared me and the rest of us the agony of seeing you two act all lovey-dovey and then swear you're not in love."

The prince groaned. "That's exactly why I didn't want to say anything!" he exclaimed. "Having everyone you know tell you that you should like someone makes you not want to like them, even if you really do. Seriously, if you all would have not said that Ike and I should be a couple, we'd probably be engaged by now."

Turning a bright shade of crimson that the author didn't feel like double-checking the usage of before, Ike buried his face in his hands. "I- we- gosh, we've been a couple for two hours and you're already talking about marriage?"

"Only hypothetically, I swear!" Marth quickly reassured him. "I was only saying that pressure has delayed our relationship considerably. If we'd gotten together five years ago, which probably would have happened if they had only shut up, and if we stayed together that long, then perhaps such a thing would be in our near future at this point. Hypothetically."

"Let's change the subject, please!" Chrom exclaimed, everyone suddenly remembering his presence.

"Father, why didn't you say anything about Tiki?" Lucina questioned. "Surely you noticed she was a fake."

"I was too busy trying desperately to not think about how I was probably about to phase out of existence at any moment," explained the Exalt. "But I suppose that's passed, so please, just start killing that Pokémon or whatever it was you were supposed to be doing before I get a migraine."

Shulk grabbed the Levan Sword out of Robin's hands and marched out of the door. "Pittoo, Palutena, Ike, to the basement!" he shouted from halfway down the hall. Palutena followed at once, followed by Ike, who gave Marth a confused smile as he left, and then Dark Pit, who exchanged a strange look with Lucina before leaving.

The ones remaining in the room sat in silence until Peach cried out "We're not really going to let them go down there by themselves, right?"

Everyone gave a general cry of agreement with the Mushroom Princess's statement and they finally agreed to send Mr. Game and Watch to follow them with a camera. After all, if they suffered from their stupidity, what use was it if no one was watching to laugh at them?

* * *

_**AN- Yeah, this chapter sort of got away from me. Oh well. So, thanks for reading! –Twilight Joltik**_


	17. Mewtwo is a Tad Bit Anticlimactic

Ten Random Characters

Chapter 17

Lucario decided to ditch Red before arriving at their destination to preserve his mental health. Red didn't mind. In fact, he was almost glad he'd get to play the hero all by himself. Upon arriving in the basement, Red threw his Pokémon out and handed a weapon to each of them. Charging in with a piece of Dark Pit's bow in each hand, he shouted "Release Lucas, you fiend!" and was promptly blown back by one of Mewtwo's psychic barriers.

Mewtwo laughed at how pitiful Red's attempt of a counteroffensive was. "You gave your pathetic little beasts weapons!" laughed the messed up clone. "Are you trying to look like an idiot, because it's working."

"I'm trying to stop you from hurting my friend," hissed Red, who did not know that back in the room the RedxLucas shippers were squeeing. He charged at Mewtwo, who pushed him back with a lazy wave of his hand.

Lucas, who had been trapped in a rather pitiful prison behind a few crates and Star Rods facepalmed. "You know, I could have gotten out myself in a matter of seconds," the blond psychic sighed. "I was just sort of getting tired of all the insanity upstairs, so I thought I'd stay down here and maybe take a nap or seven."

Red stopped charging at Mewtwo and turned to his captive friend. "Wait, seriously?"

Lucas's captor fumed. "You could never break out!" he cackled. "I reinforced it with psychic powers!"

"And Ness taught me PK Teleport," countered Lucas. "I mean, there's enough room back here to run in a circle, so I'm pretty sure I could pull off the β version, at least."

"Prove it," snorted Mewtwo. Lucas promptly began running in a circle until a tornado appeared and whisked him away to somewhere or other.

The psychic cat began to curse under his breath. "Well," Red remarked. "Guess there's nothing left here. I'll just be headed back. Later, Mewtwo."

"Come on!" Mewtwo cried. "I didn't even get a chance to get back at that little blond runt for beating me earlier!"

As Red started back towards the room, his Pokémon carefully carrying their "borrowed" weapons, he ran into the party that had been sent to stop him from doing anything stupid earlier. "You came to stop me from destroying your weapons, right?" he asked.

Palutena nodded as she snatched her staff back from Red's Squirtle. After carefully inspecting it, she smiled slightly. "No scratches. Good. If there had been any, I might have had to turn you into an eggplant or something," she threatened with a smirk.

Pulling his Silver Bow out of Red's hands, Dark Pit punched the Pokémon Trainer's shoulder rather violently. As Ike and Shulk retrieved their swords, Red snuck away to attempt to avoid any further injury.

Back in the room, Red and his rescue party found it had been almost completely deserted, save for Ness, which was understandable, considering it was his room, and Toon Link.

"Oh, everyone left while you were gone," explained Ness.

No one spoke until Shulk muttered "I can see that…"

"They all went to bed, said it was too late and they'd start the game back up in the morning," Ness explained.

Ike looked a bit irked. "We could leave?" he exclaimed in shock. "I thought Peach was holding us against our will."

"Why is Toon still in here?" Palutena questioned, as the chibi Hylian curled up on the couch, attempting to ignore them.

"It's a full moon," muttered Toon Link sleepily.

Ness rolled his eyes. "He thinks that since Proper Link was a wolf in the Twilight Realm, he's unsafe to be around at the full moon. And he decided to stay in my room to hide."

"Not hiding," corrected Toon. "Just making sure he doesn't rip my head off."

"Okay then," Red awkwardly dismissed. "I'm gonna, er, go."

The rest of the remaining Smashers returned to their rooms and attempted to sleep. Little did they know the next day would be even more chaotic than the previous.

* * *

_**AN- Short chapter, yes, but that's why I'm doubling up! I just had a great idea that couldn't wait another few days to be published, so I'm posting two tonight! After these, it'll be back to the regular questions, finally. So, thanks for reading! –Twilight Joltik**_


	18. Robin's Counteroffensive

_Ten Random Characters_

_Chapter 18_

The day after Peach's first round of the game was much like any other. Whenever they weren't called for matches, the Smashers did what any entity that was bored out of their mind would do: binge-watched anime. For example, Pit and Palutena had recently finished watching Sailor Moon, so they began watching Fairy Tail on that day. So, in other words, the first ending theme was irreversibly stuck in their heads.

Some Smashers, however, binge-watched non-animes. Taking into account the events of the previous night, Ike and Marth began watching Doctor Who. Roy attempted to watch it with them, but he got annoyed at having to pause it every ten minutes when one of them would have to fight, so he ended up watching it alone instead.

Not everyone was watching television, however. Dark Pit was attempting to teach Lucina how to play Mario Kart, and subsequently reminding her every ten seconds that she really sucked at it. With a scoff, she would dismiss him by pointing out that she hadn't know what a light switch was for any more than three months, so he shouldn't expect her to be good at it.

Yes, there was the off Smasher who was doing something productive with their time, like Peach, who had started on a RedxPit high school AU, but for the most part, everyone was fairly unproductive between matches. After all, it is a bit difficult to do something focus-intensive while being interrupted so frequently.

As the matches finally started to wind down, Shulk saw the cloaked form of Robin pacing down the hall, her hood obscuring her face. He started to approach her, but quickly found her dragging him into a storage room instead.

"Robin, please don't kidnap me," he requested. "Whatever it is you need, I'm sure it's not anything worth resorting to petty crime over."

Robin's hood was flicked down, revealing that it was not the pigtailed tactician at all, but rather a young man with spiky white hair. "I'm not kidnapping you," the Male Robin began to explain. "I just need your help."

"Wait, when did you get here?" asked Shulk. "I'm pretty sure last time I checked your sister was the only Robin here."

"She's not actually my sister," Male Robin sighed. "She just says she is to save time explaining. And I've been here the whole time, I just tend to make myself scarce. Okay, it's more like I hide from her, but it's the same basic principle."

"Why, does she scare you?" Shulk inquired.

The male tactician nodded. "Completely terrifying, that woman. She keeps trying to get me together with whatever girl she sees because she 'wants a Morgan'. I guess she just knows she's run out of guys to marry unless she wants to be Mrs. Evil Warlord or Priam, so she's living vicariously through me."

"Okay, so can we get to the part about why you kidnapped me?" prompted Shulk, who was a bit anxious to get away from him before he was potentially injured, considering the Monado was still on his bed next to the book he'd been reading.

"Right," began the Male Robin. "So, I thought of a way to get my 'sister' off my back that doesn't involve…" he gave a shudder. "Tharja. Seriously, that woman is the only thing that scares me more than other Robin. Speaking of which, how good are you at dodging curses?"

Shulk shrugged. "Good enough, so long as I see it before it happens." He then slowly realized why that question had been asked and got very, very scared. "Wait, please tell me you aren't…"

"Asking you to pretend to be my boyfriend so my 'sister' will shut up?" finished Male Robin. "Yeah, pretty much."

"No!" Shulk cried. "W-why would I do that? I mean, I don't have anything against you, but I barely know you. Can't you ask someone else instead?"

"You're the only option, really," the male tactician stated. "Ike was taken, Roy could freeze my face off, Red has a small army at his disposal, Pit would tell Palutena, Marth would be weird, considering Chrom, plus he was taken, and Link… well, he's hard to blackmail."

Shulk's heart jumped at the word "blackmail", as he knew at once what the Male Robin was referring to. "Who told you about the you-know-what?" he asked, hoping no one else knew.

"The caterpillars, you mean?" Male Robin asked with a devious smirk. "I played Xenoblade Chronicles. I don't think anyone else has, though, except maybe Pit, but you can probably trust him."

Gulping, Shulk tried desperately to find a way out of it. "B-but Fiora!" he exclaimed. "It's canon, so-"

"When has anyone around here cared about canon?" countered Male Robin. "But if you don't want to help, I guess I'll tell Red about your little phobia. I'm sure he'd be glad to introduce you to the Caterpies and Wurmples of his homeworld."

The thought of such large beastly caterpillars sent shivers down Shulk's spine. "F-fine!" he conceded. "But please, don't tell Dunbar and Riki about this!"

"Great!" cried the Male Robin, trapping Shulk in a rather tight hug. "Thanks! We'll fool other Robin for sure!"

His cheeks burning red, Shulk sighed. "Is this just a really messed up way to ask me out?" he asked.

The Male Robin released the hug. "N-no!" he quickly denied. "And trust me, even if it was, I've been asked out in way more messed up ways."

* * *

_**AN- Okay, I like this couple now, plus I thought perhaps some of the boys might think this was a good strategy to avoid shipping, so this happened. And yes, Shulk is canonically afraid of caterpillars. Lovely, isn't it? Also, what should I call Male Robin? I feel like Male Robin is the best choice, but it sounds a bit awkward, so please, lovely readers, give me ideas! Anyways, thanks for reading! –Twilight Joltik**_


	19. Red and Peach's Complaint Ballad

_Ten Random Characters_

_Chapter 19_

The second night of Peach's game began in one of the oddest ways possible. As everyone entered Ness's room, they were met with a hooded figure sitting on one of the couches without a word, a crimson-cheeked Shulk at their side. Everyone assumed it was the woman named Robin, and didn't pay much attention to the couple. Or, at least, they didn't until a white pigtailed woman rushed in the room and apologized for being late. With a double take, peoples' eyes were drawn to the cloaked figure, while the female Robin simply laughed.

"Finally decided to come out from your hiding spot, little brother?" giggled the female tactician.

Throwing his hood off dramatically, the male Robin gave a smirk, edging a bit closer to Shulk, who was determinedly avoiding eye contact with everyone. The only people who weren't shocked by the presence of two Robins were Lucina, the aforementioned Shulk, and Captain Falcon, who chuckled at his roommate's dramatic flair. "Only because I have nothing to fear from you," muttered the male Robin.

With a squeal of delight, the female Robin quickly grabbed Palutena by the hand and shoved the goddess in front of her male counterpart. "Glad you came around! Now, I was thinking you would be perfect with Palutena, 'cause she'd give you a demigoddess Morgan!"

The goddess of light gave the Female Robin a sharp "Thwack!" on the head with her staff. "You are remarkably disturbing when you want to be," chastised Palutena as she sat back down.

"Besides, you won't have to worry about pairing me up with anyone anymore; I've got that covered," the male Robin declared, placing his arm around Shulk, who was so red that the author had run out of metaphors for it.

With a glance between the two, the female Robin, squeeing, suddenly glomped Zelda. "Yay, Princess Morgan!" she exclaimed as the queen of Hyrule tried to squirm out of her hug. "Oh, that's almost as awesome as my idea! Zelda, you'll be a great sister-in-law, I know it!"

"I am not dating that man!" Zelda protested. "In fact, I didn't even know he existed until five minutes ago!"

"Actually, I'm d-d-dating h-him," Shulk muttered, seemingly forcing out every syllable and looking utterly unconvinced of the words.

"That's right!" cried the male Robin, edging closer to the incredibly uncomfortable looking Shulk. "We're a couple as of today, so you," he pointed accusingly to his female counterpart. "You have to stop pestering me about Morgans now!"

With a frown, the female Robin produced a white flag from some pocket of Hammerspace and waved it around in defeat. "Oh, fine," she conceded. "Yaoi is almost as cute as a niece."

Letting out a sigh of relief, the male Robin whispered something in Shulk's ear that sounded like "Thanks". Lucina was pretty clearly staring down the male tactician from across the room and trying to catch Shulk's eye, but both avoided eye contact with her.

"So, what are we supposed to call you, anyways?" questioned Peach. "I mean, if I call on Robin for a question, you two won't know which one I'm talking about."

Roy raised his hand, as if waiting to be called on. "Yes, Roy?" Peach prompted, pointing at the red-haired lord.

"In the Japanese version, they're called 'Reflet', so we can call the male Robin that," Roy suggested.

"No," Red hissed. "That brings back painful memories."

No one seemed to know what he was talking about, save for Peach. "Of Pokémon Fanfiction?" she added.

The Pokémon Trainer gave a nod. "Seriously, if I hear the names 'Paul Shinji' or 'Drew Hayden' one more time, I'm going to throw an Eevee out the window, and yes, that's a threat!" he snarled. "Character's names in Japanese are NOT their surnames, so for the love of sanity, would people PLEASE stop using them as such!"

With a polite nod, Peach replied "I understand your pain. Sometimes I wish I could feed a Toad to Hooktail for every time I see Ike called 'Ike Greil' in Fanfiction, but I'm using it as a nickname, not a surname."

"Fine," Red agreed. "But first…"

The Mushroom Princess and Pokémon Trainer spontaneously burst into song. "Oh, surnames are not first names from other languages or family members, unless you want to be the Super Mario Bros. Movie!"

"Which no one wants to be because it sucked and I wasn't even in it!" Peach added, an octive higher than the rest of the song.

"So, let's get started!" Peach exclaimed cheerfully, skimming the papers to find where she'd left off and blissfully unaware of the odd looks being cast towards her and Red. "Okay, er, Ness, you're stuck in a burning building. What would Marth do?"

"Call Red and tell him to get Squirtle quickly," Marth replied. "Wait, how would Ness be stuck in a building, anyways? Can't he teleport?"

"Only if I have enough room to run in a circle or straight line," Ness clarified.

Peach chuckled as she read the next one. "Okay, er, Shulk, you're about to do something that'll make you feel extremely embarrassed."

The Homs seemed to gulp and turned his head to block "Reflet" from his view. "L-Like what?" he stammered. Lucina cast a concerned glance towards him, but it was either unnoticed or ignored.

"Oh, I don't know, some stupid bet or something," Peach replied. "Isn't that what guys do? Anyways, what would I do about that? Wait, what would I do? I'd film it and put it online, naturally. I mean, what good is embarrassing yourself if it's not for the entertainment of thousa-"

Lucina suddenly cut her off with a cry of "Meeting of the L. o. C. w. S. N. a. a. S., now!" before dragging Dark Pit by the scarf as she left the room. Swallowing sharply, Shulk left the room behind her, Toon Link following him.

"What's the L. o.- er, whatever she said?" asked Ike.

"The LoCwSNaaS?" Marth clarified, pronouncing the acronym like "Lock-wis-nahs", however you pronounce that. "League of Clones with Stupid Nicknames and also Shulk. It's some secret brigade or something Lucina and Dark Pit made."

* * *

_**AN- LoCwSNaaS, because I fail at cool acronyms and so does Lucina, apparently! Also, Peach and Red's Fanfiction complaints are things that bug me for no apparent reason. Okay, maybe the fact that they're implying Ike's father was called at one point "Greil Greil" is a reason, but still. So, thanks for reading! –Twilight Joltik**_


	20. Lucina and Dark Pit's In-Joke Brigade

_Ten Random Characters_

_Chapter 20_

The League of Clones with Stupid Nicknames, also known as the LoCwSN, or the "Lock-wis-n" started as a joke between Lucina and Dark Pit. In a conversation early on in their friendship, Lucina had mentioned how Robin had taken to calling her "Martwo" after their acquisition of the Marth Einherjar in an attempt to make the angel clone feel better about his own stupid nicknames. He proceeded to make fun of her about this for the next three days straight, until the two finally realized there was one more pointy-object wielding clone in the Smash Mansion with a dumb nickname: Toon Link, or simply "Toon".

The second they realized this, they ran straight to the chibi Hylian and told him he was now part of their secret brigade. What this secret brigade was for, no one ever quite figured out, but they couldn't just let such potential go to waste. And thus the LoCwSN was born. Lucina was more than pleased and promptly wrote letters to Owain and Cynthia telling them about it. She would eventually admit her reasons for wanting a secret club were that her cousin and Sumia's daughter had kicked her out of their own secret club for being a "buzzkill", something which had haunted her all her life.

And then two weeks later a new fighter came to the Smash Mansion after completely obliterating Link and Marth in a one-on-two fight, which quickly earned Lucina's and Toon Link's respect. They wanted him to join the club at once, but Dark Pit argued that considering that he was neither a clone nor had any particularly stupid nicknames, he would defeat the purpose of it.

While they had intended to not invite the Homs, Shulk found their "secret club meeting room", also known as a storage room on the third story without being told about it by anyone mid-meeting. He claimed he was just looking for a quiet place to work on some contraption, away from his roommate who "kind of hated him", but someone, probably the banner Lucina had made for them, let it slip that there was a secret club meeting in there. He offered to leave and find another storage room, which was something no one could let him do, considering the horrors hidden in most of the other storage rooms, something Toon Link had learned the hard way.

They offered him usage of the storage room and Dark Pit's headphones (which were not willingly given by said clone angel) in agreement that the Monado wielder never lay foot in any other storage room, for the safety of the entire universe. Eventually, they decided he might as well join the club, considering he was always at the meetings and had started answering other's question. However, no one could think of anything Shulk had in common with the rest of them, so they simply added his name onto the existing acronym. From that day on, the League of Clones with Stupid Nicknames and also Shulk, or LoCwSNaaS was a thing that existed.

They still never did much, but on the second night of Peach's game, they, or rather Lucina, decided to finally do a thing. Dragging her fellow club members into their storage room, she sat down at the head of their cardboard box table on a spare Warp Star, her dark blue eyes trying to hold eye contact with the Homs.

"Lucina, why are we here?" asked Toon Link, who was fiddling with a Lip's Stick.

"Because any excuse to get away from those people is worthy of an emergency meeting," Dark Pit muttered darkly.

Shulk looked away from the others and Lucina pounded on the cardboard box with the pommel of her sword. "Now, I call this emergency meeting of the L. o. C. w. S. N. a. a. S. to order!" she exclaimed. "Our first order of business, Toon, Shulk, Dark Pit, you must swear to not tell a soul anything shared in this meeting unless strictly necessary, understood?"

Almost mechanically, the four members held their right hands up and recited the brigade's pledge: "I solemnly swear that no one will hear of the secrets of this meeting unless someone's life depends on it, lest Jigglypuff knock me down a tier list with her Rest attack in Melee."

Lucina added "Especially not Palutena or Reflet," to the normal pledge. "Now, I'm sure you all recall that… incident between me and Dark Pit last night."

"Do we have to tell them this?" Dark Pit groaned.

"Wait, are you two together now?" Toon Link questioned.

Lucina nodded. "Yes. Just figured I should mention that. So, let's move on to the real reason I called this meeting."

"If this is about the clones, I already knew that," Toon Link interrupted.

"No, it's not about the clones," Lucina sighed.

"Is it about that body in the closet on the second floor, because I'm pretty sure everyone already knows about that too and I swear, it was mostly an accident." Toon Link continued.

With a groan, Lucina facepalmed. "No, it is not about your failed clone being in the closet!" she cried. "It's about Shulk's low moral standards!"

"W-what low moral standards?" Shulk questioned, still refusing to make eye contact with the Ylissean princess.

"I would have never thought you would sink so low as to accept Reflet's bribery," Lucina scolded. "Really, I thought better of you, Monado Boy!"

Shulk sighed and buried his face in his hands. "He didn't bribe me, I promise!" vowed the blond. "I- I know i-it sounds weird, b-b-but I r-r-really l-like-"

He couldn't quite get all the words out before Dark Pit slapped him upside the head with a paper fan. "Do you really think anyone's falling for that?" scoffed the angel clone. "You're a less convincing actor than Hades, and that's saying something."

"Blackmail," the Homs suddenly blurted out. "Not bribery, blackmail. If I didn't pretend to be his boyfriend, he'd tell everyone something I really don't want them to know. Well, and I kind of feel bad for him, considering Robin never shuts up."

"D'ya want us to hang him outside of the building by his feet until he promises not to tell anyone your secret?" offered Toon Link.

"No, I'd rather help him than throw him out a window, but thanks," Shulk stated.

With a sigh, Lucina pounded on the cardboard box table again. "Meeting adjourned, then," she declared, and the LoCwSNaaS returned to the game, which hadn't done anything too horribly interesting without them, save for pelting Captain Falcon with slightly rotten fruit.

* * *

_**AN- I like the idea of this secret brigade or something. Maybe I'll write a one-shot about it. Well, or just keep using it here, that works. So, thanks for reading! –Twilight Joltik**_


	21. Nana and Popo make a Grave Mistake

_Ten Random Characters_

_Chapter 21_

Peach smiled as the LoCwSNaaS reentered the room. "Lovely, nice to see you making more dramatic exits, Lucina," seethed the princess with an eerily fake smile. "Now, next question."

Robin giggled as she looked over Peach's shoulder and read it in her place, meriting a glare from the Toadstool Princess. "Robin is about to marry Peach," snickered the female tactician. "What is Palutena's reaction?"

The goddess in question began to slow-clap. "Congratulations," she stated with a smirk. "At long last, we have Yuri."

"Don't be silly!" Peach exclaimed with a blush and a quick glance around the room, presumably to assure Mario wasn't in the room. "This is just a silly little game, no need to take it seriously!"

"That wasn't what you lot said when that thing about me and Pit came up," Red deadpanned.

"Or the part about me and Ike," Roy huffed.

With a gulp, Peach quickly moved onto the next question. "So, Lucas hates Roy. Why?"

The PK-user cast a dark glare towards Roy. "Because now that we're both out of matches, he won't leave me alone."

"Hey, it's not my fault all of my other friends get called to matches every five minutes!" protested the Manakete. "Without Marth or Doctor Mario to talk to, it's either you or the Ice Climbers!"

Roy was promptly whacked on the head with two wooden mallets. "Look, kid," snarled Nana. "There is absolutely nothing wrong with talking to us over the Tsundere!"

"Nana's right!" Popo declared. "We're ten times cooler, no pun intended, than some loser from a game that never got localized!"

Everyone in the room froze as waves of burning rage emanated from Roy and Lucas. The Ice Climbers froze, no pun intended, and Popo wondered "What? What did we do?" aloud. Roy promptly took a blue stone in hand, which glowed with energy. Holding it skywards, bright flowers of light formed around the Lord and faded to reveal a blue dragon, which was massive enough to make Ness's rather large room feel a bit cramped.

The Ice Climbers were met with the blunt force of Roy's Dragon Frost Roar, and an echoed cry of "Binding Blade was a great game and so was Mother 3!"

As Roy reassumed his human form, Lucas sent a PK Love Ω towards the frozen climbers, crying "I am not a Tsundere! The author just really sucks at writing for me!"

"Whoa, Lucas," Red warned. "Be careful around the 'Ourth-fay All-way'."

"The 'Horcey Hallway'?" Marth repeated, trying to make sense of the Pig Latin.

"I think he said 'Norfair Alley'," corrected Shulk, who was pretty clearly biting his lip to prevent himself from reacting to Reflet's arm around being around his shoulder, but was still blushing all the same.

Red facepalmed. "You two seriously don't know Swinub Latin?" he flatly stated in disbelief. "Did you even have a childhood?"

"No, not really," Marth replied. "Well, unless you count swordplay lessons and fleeing the country and being forced to become best friends with an annoying girl who has a crush on you and you pretend to like back because if you don't you'll probably end up being forced to marry someone even worse and then before you get married you get teleported to a mansion and are forced to fight other people for the entertainment of two giant hands and spend the next thirteen years not aging for some reason and being the best friend of a dragon and an elfman before being thrust into some crazy battle against a butterfly man who is defeated by a hedgehog who has had exactly two good games in the last ten years, according to the internet, and falling in love with a guy with a cooler sword than you."

"What's with the run-on sentence?" snickered Robin. "Really, I'd expect better grammar from a prince."

"Also, I was fairly sure you liked Cadea," Zelda countered. "In Shadow Dragon and New Mystery of the Emblem, you seemed to genuinely love her."

"Yeah, and Shulk's in love with Reflet, Robin writes Yaoi, Soren's a Yandere, Lucas is a Tsundere, Mewtwo is incompetent, Toon Link either has multiple personality disorder or several clones, etcetera, and that's just in the last few days," Red countered, ignoring Lucas's protests. "Seriously, has anything here ever been like it is in the games?"

As Marth's cheeks turned a bright ruby color, Palutena's phone chimed. "Hey look, Lucas's 'Norfair Alley' break got some requests from our fans through!" she exclaimed before beginning to read them off. "Palutena and Chr- wait, where's Chrom?"

"He left," Ike explained. "Said he was too 'mentally scarred by his ancestor's paradox-making skills to return'." He put air quotes up as he said this.

"Pit!" the goddess exclaimed.

The angel stood up and saluted. "Yes, ma'am!"

"Go fetch Chrom," Palutena ordered. "And maybe some macarons while you're at it. Those things are really good."

Pit ran out of the room and returned far too quickly with a box of macarons and the protagonist of Fire Emblem Awakening, who was struggling. "Please let me out of here," Chrom begged. "Really, I'll do anything, just don't make me play this game!"

No one quite noticed the peculiar shade of crimson Reflet turned when laying his eyes on the Lord, or the victorious cried of the author, who had found yet another unique way to refer to blushing. However, Marth pointedly edged closer to Ike, Lucina groaned, and Robin cackled. "Sorry, no cigar Mr. Needs a Tactician to Win the Game for Him."

"Hey," Chrom protested. "Ike, Marth, and Lyn all had tacticians too!"

"Not ones that could marry them," countered Robin with a sneer.

"You're telling me IkexSoren and LynxMark weren't possible?" Chrom reputed. "Because there's a reason people ship those."

Lucina let out a horrified squeak of terror. "F-father, did you look at the internet?" she asked desperately. "Don't worry, Doctor Mario has a memory-removing potion. If we use it now, it's not too late to prevent scarring!"

"Relax, Lucina, I was just trying to find a way to get those two broken up," he pointed at the rather horrified Marth and Ike. "So I was trying to find other people to push them towards," Chrom explained.

Robin punched the air. "Ha! Chrom, I'll make a shipper of you yet! Never thought I'd see the day. So, MarthxRoy and IkexSoren? Or MarthxKris and IkexElicina?"

"Well, drastic times call for drastic measures," Chrom remarked with a glare at his supposed ancestor and his boyfriend. "Preferably MarthxCadea and IkexSoren, to keep things as they were."

Marth held his Falchion out towards his descendant. "Absolutely not!" he cried. "I am perfectly happy as is, and you won't change that!"

"Besides," Ike added. "Soren's nice and all, but romance-wise, he kind of creeps me out."

"Yandere," Peach muttered under her breath.

"What do you have against them being together anyways?" Roy questioned. "I mean, it can't be because of paradoxes, considering your daughter is a walking paradox herself."

Chrom shrugged. "Different kind of paradox. Lucina is just creating two different versions of herself, those two are preventing my entire lineage from ever existing."

Reflet groaned. "It's not any different, Chrom. You're being hypocritical."

Turning towards the male tactician, Chrom's eye twitched. "T-there are two of you?" he exclaimed, eyes darting between the female Robin and her "brother". The Lord fainted.

"Someone get Jigglypuff to use Wake-Up Slap," Peach ordered. "We'll get back to Palutena's question in a minute."

* * *

_**AN- I have no idea where Shipper!Chrom came from, but I suppose having Robin as your tactician means that shipping becomes an important war art. Also, I am tempted to just call the Fourth Wall the Norfair Alley from now on. And PikaLoverNYA, I'm getting to your suggestions, finally. So, thanks for reading! –Twilight Joltik**_


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